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what do I do?

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  • This topic has 3 replies, 2 voices, and was last updated 8 years ago by Anonymous.
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  • March 10, 2017 at 6:17 am #138687
    Andy
    Participant

    hi, I will try to explain my situation clearly as possible.

    Me and my wife have been together for 17 years and married for 10 years with 3 kids.  she told me after Christmas, she wanted separation that she not happy with me anymore.  that annoucement broke me and I went into depression.  a month later, I found out she was having an affair and I haven’t been the same since.  I tried everything to get her back but she not willing to fix the marriage.

    I even meet the guy before, they set him to date her cousin so they can cover track.  the lie and deception is just too much.  I still love her and care for her.  I have enough evidents she still talking to him and seeing him.

    her younger brother confronted her on Wednesday and she admitted she still seeing him.  I’m at a point where I’m going to give up, waking up every morning has been so painful and constantly thinking not knowing what’s going to happen.

    what do I do?  I’m planning to go away for 2-3 months to heal myself and decide the next step in my life.  I’m 38 years old, I don’t have much but I enjoy the simple thing in life.

    March 10, 2017 at 7:26 am #138805
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Andy:

    You can stop trying to get her back. Proceed with a legal termination of the marriage. Parent your children best you can. Enjoy the simple things in life, your wife is not one of those simple (people)- simple would be someone you can trust, someone honest.

    I hope you feel better soon. In this time of distress, remember your three children. They need a strong father.

    I don’t know where you are going away to, for a few months. You will have to come back to the same situation, won’t you, after the 2-3 months? Maybe competent psychotherapy to deal with your feelings of betrayal and the new situations is a better idea?

    anita

    March 10, 2017 at 10:46 am #138889
    Andy
    Participant

    I’ve been trying best to look after my children but it’s getting too much.  I’ve broke down few times in front of my kids and they know I’m not happy.

    I’m planning to back to Vietnam for 2 months, that’s where my family is and they’re waiting for me.  there’s so much lie and emotional damage I’m afraid I might go crazy.  someone I’ve been with so long with can do this to me.  when her brother confronted her said it’s complicated between them, what about me and her we had 3 kids together, a family.  she destroyed everything nothing left.

    March 10, 2017 at 11:52 am #138891
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Andy:

    It is very painful, to be faced with such betrayal.

    Better you do get away than stay and have your kids witness you falling apart. I hope you do come back stronger, much stronger. You have a new reality to adjust to. It is a tough reality.

    I hope you will feel better, soon enough. Maybe with family in Vietnam, you will get the comfort you need in these troubled times.

    anita

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