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What is wrong with me, can anyone help/advise?

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  • #94624
    Genesis
    Participant

    Hello all,

    I can’t seem to get anything done anymore. It is my last semester of senior year in college and I am completely drained. It has only been three weeks into the semester and I already have a D in a class and several zeros. I am really tired and worried but I can’t seem to motivate myself to get anything done.

    I think I might have major depression but I am scared that I’m just making excuses for myself to be lazy, I am a high achieving student but lately I have only been able to get myself to class. No work outside. School doesn’t seem to interest me anymore, I don’t really do much besides listen to music and brows fb and the internet. I have no self control and I’m worried that it’s beyond having a full cognitive load.

    If anyone has any advise, words of encouragement, or suggestions, please let me know.

    Thanks so much,
    Burnt Out

    #94627
    Miranda
    Participant

    Dear Burnt Out,

    As a high achieving student, you must have a great deal of experience being a top student, which burdens you to do well, constantly. So I want you to know that how you are feeling right now is so so so normal to soo many university students. Your lack of motivation does lead me to think you have depression. Depression is not an excuse, it is not a myth. It’s a real disorder that cripples even the greatest minds. What helped me through depression was getting professional help. I’m certain your school has mental health professionals with whom you could share your thoughts, you should consider talking to someone.

    Now, I think there are a few things you could do right now. I’m just making a guess here, but does your D and zeroes make you scared of trying hard? Have you given up and told yourself “I might as well not try anymore, what’s the point anyway”? Forget about those marks, you are only a few weeks in. You can still do well in your classes. I think right now, you could brush those marks into a waste bin, and throw them away. They don’t matter. With those marks gone, you can start afresh. You can start working on your classes, do those assignments, study for those tests/exams, write those papers. And I know you can do them well, because you’ve been a high achiever your whole life. 🙂

    Another thing you could do is take a break from school. No, that doesn’t mean you’ve given up. It doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means you’re strong. You know you are a high achiever, you aren’t lazy. You are tired, exhausted, spent. You don’t have any more resources left in you to keep going. You need a battery recharge. Why does taking a break from school mean you are strong? Because it means you are going against the “norm”, against the wishes of many adults, because you love yourself. Self love means having enough respect for yourself to know when your mental, emotional, or physical health is at risk, and doing something about it. Taking a break will help you breathe, introspect, and feel again. I know that feeling, because I am currently on a leave of absence from graduate school. I was burnt out too, and I just needed a break. Many people told me not to do it, but I knew it was the best thing to do for my own well-being. And here I am, feeling awesome for the first time in over a year, and not regretting for a single moment my decision to take a break from school.

    So there’s that, those are the two things I’d try to do. Love yourself, be your own friend 🙂

    Love,

    Miranda

    #94634
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Genesis:

    Sounds like a burn out. I don’t think you are lazy. I think you worked hard for too long with not enough rest and rejuvenation. What comes to my mind is that the “parent” part of your psyche has been pushing the “child” part of your psyche, pushing her hard and the child worked hard on and on and on and finally it had enough, so it just stopped.

    If you relate, can you talk to the child part in you from the parent part, but no longer being pushy and insensitive but patient and gentle and loving, talk to her and let her talk to you back. Ask her how she feels, what she needs…

    What do you think?

    anita

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