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What should i do?

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  • January 1, 2015 at 1:01 pm #70097
    emma kaur
    Participant

    Hoping someone can help with this!

    I recently handed my notice in, I absolutely loved my role but my relationship with my manager is horrendous and as things have been getting progressively worse for a while it seemed like the right time to consider other options.

    My manager has treated me unfairly over the past few months and this has been noticed by other people too, to make it worse she has influenced above to senior people I have no direct contact with and tried to portray me out to be someone i’m not. When I handed my notice in, one of these people who is in fact my managers boss asked to speak to me and ask why i’d handed my notice in as I felt he had picked up it may be to do with the relationship with my manager. (Hope this is all making sense!) Everyone in my life advised me to raise a grievance and point out all the things to him that had been going on, but I wanted to bow out gracefully despite the wrong doing and put in to practise some of the spiritual things i’ve been learning, so i said nothing. He said to contact him if i ever wanted to come back which was nice and showed that the influencing by manager hasn’t been that successful with him.

    Now things haven’t got better since i handed my notice in (4 weeks notice!), although she’s my manager she’s continued to behave extremely unprofessionally with the most recent being where she advised someone that she felt there performance was poor because they had been spending time with me. My last day is tomorrow but i’m so angry at this comment, especially after I’ve kept quiet about her treating me unfairly, despite my reputation being potentially tarnished by her to senior people who don’t know me to know otherwise. My friends and family are advising me to write a letter of grievance tomorrow, i found out this comment was made yesterday and slept on it (i was adamant i was going to yesterday) but don’t know if i should just be a better person and leave this as i’m leaving anyway or send an email highlighting everything?

    Any advice would be much appreciated, thank you!

    • This topic was modified 9 years, 10 months ago by emma kaur.
    January 1, 2015 at 3:29 pm #70104
    Yue
    Participant

    Hey Emmakaru07,

    Having been in a similar situation, I can emphasis with some of what you are going through. On one hand, you want to avoid being a tattertale but on the other, it’s like taking repeated emotional punches without the opportunity to fight back. In the end, I decided to say something in my exit interview because if I didn’t, he is just going to do it to someone else. Whether management did anything with that feedback is one thing but I can hold my head high because I did something about it.

    If you are going down this path, a suggestion I have is that when providing feedback, the focus should be on the management style and how it affected your performance rather than how an individual (i.e. your manager) mistreated you. For example, instead of saying how your boss spread lies about you, consider rephrasing it to something like “when performance is poor, it is not always clear to the team what we can do to improve performance. This often lead to frustration and low morale within the team as we all wanted to do better but lack direction on how we can achieve this.”

    Hope that helps and good luck with your next job.

    January 3, 2015 at 11:07 am #70142
    Catarina Andrade
    Participant

    Hi emmakaur07,

    I can see a case for both options. Two thoughts:

    1) Which makes your feel lighter? Moving on to the next phase of your life, or getting it down on paper and releasing it first? Writing the letter should feel like a release rather than feel like something that makes you even more upset, and you should also make sure that you don’t do it from a place of anger so that you’re taken seriously and don’t burn any bridges (Yue’s suggestion above is great).

    2) Is there a middle ground, where you could share your thoughts with your manager’s manager without it being an official “letter of grievance”? Or, keeping the letter short and sweet rather than long and detailed.

    Good luck!

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