October 18, 2020 at 1:08 am #367914FelixParticipant
So i just separated from my crush a month ago, after we both confess each other and both our feelings are mutual. She told me not to frequently contact her as she wants to focus on her studies, and she’s also not sure when she is ready for a relationship. But she wont answer when i said what if i come find her again in the future, as she cant predict what is in her mind in the future.
She’s going to uni soon in another city (45 mins by boat from my city, that city is from a different country but it’s nearby to our city), and her parents told her that if she finds a job there she should try finding her life there (as the average wage in that country is higher, the currency is higher too).
I also took my uni in that country because it’s nearby, but after i graduate i go back to my city to help my parents business, meanwhile she has a different path. But she said she didnt close the door of going back to our city, it’s just that she prioritize in finding a job there.
So now i’m so stressed, even after we separated i keep thinking boys from her uni might try to get close to her, and it could also trigger her to be ready in a relationship. But still i cant hope for her as if i hope it’s pointless as she’ll say she wants to focus and we’re both in a different city. My only chance is when she graduates, and she choose to go back to our city.. but that ‘s a very long time, as she just enter uni… and it’ll took at least 3 years for her to graduate. And after graduate she’ll also try to find a job there.
I’m so anxious that she might meet new boys, and i cant prevent that because she told me she wants to focus on her studies (even if she has feelings for me now).
I even have thoughts of finding a job in the country she’s taking uni. But i have to continue my parents business, as i cant have desire to wanna find a job in that country only to be in the same location as her… as i really have to continue my parents business (im the only inherit from my family).
Sometimes i get jealous of her too, as she can explore and find new people now that she just started uni, and she also have a pretty face so it wont be hard for her to get one. I keep imagining if im her with that pretty face i’ll be less sad than me now. Sometimes i also hope that i’m her (idk if this sounds weird).
What should i do? I keep thinking of her, and even get jealous of her even though i have a crush on her?