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What to do now?

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  • #45401
    Rhett Frakes
    Participant

    Hi. Even though I have just registered to this site, I’ve known of Tiny Buddha’s existence for some time now. I read the members’ various stories and problems and soon became inspired to tell my own problem.

    I am currently a undergraduate university student pursuing a B.S. in Computer Science. For the first two years, I attended a community college to get the general credits needed for the B.S. and transfer to a university. After two and a half years of university life, my overall GPA hasn’t been good. I used to get mostly A’s and the occasional B’s and C’s at the community college, but I struggled to get them. Because of my less-than-mediocre performance, I will have to be suspended for a semester. It may not sound bad, but for the past month I realized how much of a jam I’m in and felt really depressed about it. It’s too easy for me to be hard on myself and develop self-hatred due to my low self-esteem. I am afraid that I may have to drop out before I break down. I don’t have much friends, and my only best friends(my brothers) are very distant from me. It is hard for me to see myself being good enough. Compared to many other people’s depressing stories around the net, mine doesn’t seem much.

    Despite these feelings, I’m currently looking at my options and seeking help. Few weeks after the beginning of the semester, I started going to a counselor to talk about my issues and it helps to talk to someone. I’ve begun to ask my financial and academic advisers on what should I do now. I revised my resume but I still have no clue what job to pursue. I have a few weeks of the fall semester left and Thanksgiving break is less than a week away.

    I am honestly scared of this change and not sure if I am ready for anything. Hopefully I am just exaggerating and get better. I am not sure whether to wait for awhile to return to the university or go on a job hunt. I ask for some advice.

    #45445
    Chris Ellis
    Participant

    Hi Rhett,
    Here is my advice for what its worth. I hope you find something in it that is helpful.
    Recently I had some major life changes occur and there were times when I thought I was completely spinning. Everything I had created was falling apart. I had to make changes and they were going to be tremendously scary. Here are some things I found that helped me cope.
    1) I changed my environment and the people around me. They were not bad people but their presence was causing me confusion. Once I got into my own place and could relax and think straight, I was able to make good decisions. I would recommend taking a break from school if it is causing you so much unhappiness. go somewhere safe and after a few days of settling out, look at the problem again. It may not be as bad or a new solution may appear.
    2) Go through your life and see if there is someone in it that is making you feel less or stupid or is manipulating you. These types of people can weak havoc on your self esteem. They can be hidden but how do you feel when you are around certain people? Do you feel like you need to walk on eggshells with anyone? That is a good indicator that they might not be good for your mental health.
    3) Sit down and write all of the good things about you.
    4) Sit down and write up each and every skill you have no matter how goofy. You will very likely find that you can get a good job with the skills you already have. College learning in my opinion, is a one size fits all proposition and it doesn’t work for everyone. Obviously you are able to learn, so how about learning things on your own doing your own research and going after what you are interested in? Just realize that if a particular school doesn’t work for you it doesn’t mean that you are not smart. Some of the smartest people I know did not finish college (including yours truly!)
    This can be a tough time and I went through it too. I remember sitting in front of the school building wondering what happens to people like me who can’t make school work. I felt useless and like I had missed the boat that everyone else had somehow. miraculously caught. I didn’t realize that I just didn’t fit that mold. Its scary but go make your own mold, then go break it and make another one!
    Life is big and there are so many skills and services needed from honest workers. There IS a place for you (and probably several places).
    As a side note, I can see by your post that you write very well. Your paragraphs are comprehensible and your spelling and punctuation is good. right there you have a very valuable skill. How many more are there that you may not see just yet?
    Good Luck! You will make it! I promise!
    XO Chris

    #45495
    Anders Hasselstrøm
    Participant

    Dear Rhett,

    Thanks for sharing your story. I know exactly how you feel. I have been in the same situation many years ago. Moreover, I’m a motivational speaker focusing on students like you. I hope you can use some of the advice I’ll bring here.

    I want you to know your problems are no smaller than other peoples problems. Obviously these problems are affecting your sense of happiness and should be dealt with.

    Ask yourself: “Rhett, what do you want in life?” You are in the perfect situation to pursue any dream you want to pursue. You are an undergraduate student with 1000 of opportunities waiting for you. What you need to do is to make a conscious choice. Pick up a piece of paper and write down all the dreams that makes you smile.

    Don’t think about your resumé, don’t think about prestige, status and money. Ask yourself: “What would I do if money was no object?” What would make you smile to do for free every day for the rest of your life? Be honest with yourself and make a choice.

    Don’t settle for average my friend. Pursue your dreams! I have made a few articles on the subject if you are interested. I hope you’ll find the motivation and inspiration to follow your dreams and live the life you deserve!

    Best,
    Anders Hasselstrøm
    Motivational Speaker
    http://www.AndersHasselstrom.com

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