Hayley,

Thank you for the support you’ve given your mother in her times of difficulties. Your actions inspire me. I hope the two of you will remain always loving of one another.

While I am no financial guru, perhaps it is best to talk to a debt/credit counselor about your debts. According to what I know, they are a free service and will offer you the best advice/route to clean up both of your finances. As to sources where they can be found, I’m afraid I am of little help. The internet may prove fruitful in this endeavor. However, I will advise on not giving away any personal + banking information if immediately asked for it (online). We have to be wary of the many scammers/scammer institutions that parade the internet. Perhaps finding a local institute where you can schedule for a face to face may be best. Checking the Better Business Bureau will also confirm of an organization’s credibility. Also, it may not hurt to ask your local bank if they provide/offer such services, of course (and please check if they offer these services free of charge).

As for your well-being, do your best to not overly fret. Difficulties will always arise. If it helps, try to see them as lessons. And, as lessons go, they are meant to teach us what we need to help us in our endeavors (in this case: life). I understand that this may be difficult. However, changing your perceptions may help you. For example, a view I’ve come to adopt comes from the Dalai Lama: If there is an answer to a problem, then there is no need to worry because something can be done. If there is no answer to a problem then also there is no need to worry because nothing can be done therefore worrying becomes pointless. His words regarding problems rings absolute truth (to me, at least). Perhaps adopting this view yourself may help. As for your happiness, again, it also has to do with perception. While some people may be sad that it is raining, others are enjoying themselves under it. Despite all of your difficulties, do you believe you no longer possess the ability to do/chase the things that can make you happy? Do you believe your smile and laughter are fully contained? It isn’t wrong to try and make others happy. However, to laugh alongside others when our own hearts are filled with joy amplifies the sensation and adds/builds the correct elements within our beings that are necessary to strengthen and maintain a positive and optimistic mind. To do the opposite, however, would feed the counter-side and result in us leading a (more) destructive life.

The future is always unpredictable, as it’s supposed to be. Don’t fear what you can’t control. Else, you will miss out on all of the beauty you can share with the people you love. Going forward on an adventure hand in hand, does that not sound more fun?

I hope this helps and please forgive me for any grammatical mistakes I have most likely made in long replies. Namaste to you and your mother!

Al

ps: remember that a rainbow always emerges after the rain!

Dear Hayley,
I can’t say I know what it’s like being in your shoes, because I do not know. I’ve been through thick and thin, I’ve suffered a lot but that will not help anyone but me. “If you are going through hell, keep going.” I recently broke my leg and have not been able to walk for months. I am, like you said, always trying to keep a positive attitude towards life. I was in a lot of pain but the pain was not physical, it was mental. I don’t often let pain play with my emotions. This time I did and pain opened a door I never knew existed. I walked through that door and understood what I had done. I had opened myself to not just my emotions but to life as well. Because life is not all flowers and rainbows and by choosing not to see the difficult times I had become biast. I had tried to ignore the pain and every negative thing I’ve seen or been through. Now I am settled, I am in peace with myself. Life is not easy and it shouldn’t be. Peaceful times have not made a dexterous warrior and steady sees have not made a skillful sailor. I recommend the movie “peaceful warrior”, because you are a warrior. if you ever need anyone to talk to feel free to reply and ask for a contact.
Best wishes :]