I came online this morning to see if I could find other people with the same issue as me, however all I could find were discussions concerning topics like “my friends/bf/gf are hurting me”. And that´s exactly where my problem lies: Nobody is hurting me personally but still I am in pain, emotionally. It´s been going on for quite some time now and the question if it is none of my business and whether or not I should step in, is tearing me up inside. The scenario is the following:

I have a best friend who I absolutely adore and wouldn´t want to loose for anything in the world. Event though she might appear like a mean person in what I am about to describe, I assure you that she has a whole lot of good characteristics as well. This best friend has been in a relationship for several years, and as all relationships it´s sometimes a bumpy ride, but all in all it seems fairly happy. Somewhere along the way she befriended another guy, we all started hanging out together and became quite close. And this is where the problem begins: He is the nicest guy ever and wouldn´t even think of actively interfering in a relationship but it is so incredibly obvious that he has strong feelings for her. I tried to ignore it, I tried to convince myself that it´s not true, and at some point he and I got very close and I started developing some feelings that I thought were being tentatively returned – until one day it all just stopped without any obvious reason. Where before we would occasionally hold hands while talking, he now seems to avoid all touch with me at any cost.
Now, I will not deny that jealousy does play a role in this equation, but I would be able to swallow my pride and my own not-reciprocated feelings if he was happy. However I can´t shake the feeling that as he gravitates towards my best friend, she let´s it happen, even encourages it to a point (especially when she´s mad at her bf), only to put him down and go kiss her boyfriend whenever she feels like it and I just hate seeing the pain in his eyes. It makes me very sad to admit that he isn´t the first guy I´ve seen her treat this way and he doesn´t show any signs of being able to move on. If he could find a nice girl – even though it´s probably not going to be me – to be by his side, it would make me incredibly happy as a friend, but he is so fixated on this unhealthy obsession with my best friend that he just can´t break free, and she doesn´t seem to realize what it does to him. And now last week I noticed that he has harmed himself a little (physically) after they had an argument because he felt unappreciated. There was nothing I could say or do to console him. Now they made up and everything is back to “normal”, but he still carries the scars and I am left feeling so empty because I have experienced some time ago what he is going through right now and I honestly just want to help, setting my own feelings for him aside, but he won´t let me in.

Now every time we hang out it´s like this big elephant in the room and on the one hand I feel like I am going to explode if I hold it in any longer, but on the other hand I know that if I do say something it might endanger their friendship, as well as mine. And as I said in the beginning I´m not even sure if their personal relationship should be any of my business…