few days I have been posting on this site to get some insights on my mindset. So I am 35, going through yet another breakup. I have done a lot of self work working with my codependency. I relapsed big time when I found my partner who was (I thought) my soulmate. We have had a wonderful life together but I did act like a child with him sometimes. He would call me “baby sappy”. As I go through this yet again, blaming myself and my upbringing, I realize that I need to grow up. I am so entangled In my past that I sabotage my future. That’s what I have done with my partner. There is nothing I can do about it now but how do I let go of this regret?
I read a whole lot of your threads of the last five years, all in record here. It is my understanding that you are “so entangled in (your) past” because your past is still happening. The most powerful relationship in your life, the relationship in which your young brain was formed, was the one with your mother and this relationship is still happening in the present time.
Your mother referred to you as her “retirement fund”. And your mother chose to employ a handy man for his services after you told her that he repeatedly molested you sexually, and her reasoning was that he charged less for his handyman services.
“When will I mature?” is the title of your thread. My answer: when you end your relationship with your mother and after some therapy.
I don’t think you are open to such a suggestion, but it is all I have. I got nothing to substitute for it and therefore I have stated it here as clearly and simply as I did and I let it go. I have no other input for you here or on any of your threads, from before or in the future. I hope other members will respond to you here and that you will continue posting.