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When you don't see eye to eye

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  • #208575
    Bella
    Participant

    What should you do if you had previously been in a long term relationship & it ended abruptly.  I gave it a few months and found out his perspective on the break-up was only remembering the bad.  There was a lot of good,  As I was cleaning I founds cards/letters & emails we sent back and forth and it wasn’t as bad as he seems to remember.  When we spoke about it he said he wasted so much time in a terrible relation. The things he brought up were valid, but not nearly as bad he he was making it sound.

    It is as if he doesn’t remember anything good, or is just focusing on the bad.  All relationships have bad & good.  There was plenty of good or he would not have stayed if it was anywhere close as to how bad he is making it sound now.  The bad details he talked about were minor things and nothing to end a relationship over.

    Could that be his way of convincing himself it is over and to make it easier for him, or could he actually only remember the bad?

    #208583
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hey. I’m the kind of person who thinks small details do matter. In fact most arguments i have with my boyfriend are because of insignificant things that for me, are important.

    I dont know what caused the break up but sometimes when you are mad or sad everything seems ten times bigger, especially the bad things. Maybe he was like me and little things were very important to him.

    Anyways i Hope you’re okay. Maybe you need to find someone with the same values as you. If you know you didnt do anything wrong dont blame yourself, or him. Maybe you were too different.

    #208589
    Bella
    Participant

    Thank you! I do understand we all see things different.  I didn’t see it…

    #208615
    L
    Participant

    Hi Bella,

    It seems I might be going through a similar situation. His break up with me was abrupt. During the relationship, he did take a lot of things that I thought were not as serious, very seriously. I think I failed to realize our differences. And I’m realizing too late. How are you handling the break up? Any tips you can pass on? Did you speak to him after the break up? That’s where I’m at now, wondering if I should reach out.

    Good luck

    ~L

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