December 7, 2017 at 8:16 am #180933
I approached this girl name chey and her and asked if she had a boyfriend, she said yea, so i just went about my business and we just became friends. But she broke up with him, but i had no idea. Her friends were telling me she likes me but I wasn’t sure. Then she gets another boyfriend not too long after that. On graduation one of her friends gives me a hug and then she comes out of nowhere and was like “No No” and gives me a big hug. I was thinking to myself “hmm she’s jealous”. a year or so fly by I contacted her on social media, she still had a boyfriend. I told her I had a crush on her in high school. She told me she had a crush on me also when she broke up with her boyfriend, but said she was too shy to tell me because she thought i had a girlfriend, but I didn’t i have a girlfriend. she says she is old fashion and she likes the guy to pursue her, i told her i didn’t want to pursue her because she was in a relationship.
She also told me after i graduated she still thought about me and she would tell her friends how handsome i was and how when i used to come and talk to her she will get chills in her body, and when i graduated she said she wondered if i left town, or got married or had a baby. I’m thinking to myself why is she concerned about my life in this way while she is in a relationship? I was telling her that I was leaving the city because i felt my life was bigger than what it was. And she told she wanted me stay. But i can’t wait for her to break up with her boyfriend, so i was still dating girls, but still had her on my mind.
sometime later, I found out my best friend was going out with her. I didn’t know she broke up with her boyfriend and he didn’t tell me about it because he thought I didn’t still have feelings for her, then I found out they had sex. He told me he just was sexually attracted to her, he didn’t want anything serious like i did. I asked her about this and she said “your friend asked me out more and approached me more and i figured you lost interest, and i thought you had a girlfriend” I told her I didn’t have a girlfriend and the reason why I didn’t approach her is because I didn’t know she broke up with her boyfriend, and thats not my fault for not knowing. Then she says “I’m sorry but i can’t go out with you, but you never know what will happen in the future so don’t give up hope too fast.”
I couldn’t believe she said that and knowing she had sex with my best friend. It felt like she wanted me to chase her throughout her whole life. I didn’t talk to her for about 2 months then i seen her at a hotel, we talked, we left on good terms, exchanged phone numbers we talked on the phone and texted. All of sudden she stops responding to my text, ignores my phone calls, ignore a message i sent to her on facebook, but I found out why. She was in relationship with someone!! I would have respected her more if She have just told me that instead.
She led me on, all the things she said were not lining up to her actions, I have a friend name Yanna, she’s beautiful (Jamaican/Cuban) nice body, we took photo together in miami, she had on a bikini and I posted it on facebook. Right after I posted found out that Chey sent Yanna a friend request. Yanna told me she sent her a friend request. I thought now this is weird.
Some time after that, she followed me on twitter. later on she followed my private twitter, but she didn’t initiate a conversation. Unless she contacts me directly, I don’t initiate a conversation and she still is in a relationship
oh yea she unfriended my best friend on facebook, but she didn’t unfriend me. Why do girls try to keep tabs, or try to keep men in their life after they rejected them?December 7, 2017 at 9:52 am #180955
Dear cardell banks:
You described lots of assuming, guessing on both sides, and perhaps some dishonesty. Better ask clearly and expect clear answers, then share your thoughts clearly, your intents, your wants.
When you ask a person questions, listen attentively to their answers, if it contradicts what they said before, or how they behave, ask about the contradiction, and listen attentively, again.
This clear communication I am suggesting can prevent a lot of problems that assuming and guessing bring about.