Dear Rosie:

What you’re going through is incredibly difficult, and I can feel how much you care about your nephew’s well-being. It’s clear that you’ve done everything in your power to support him—giving him stability, advocating for him, and providing a safe space where he can thrive—even when the system and your family have failed to step up.

From what you’ve shared, your nephew is living in an environment that does not prioritize his well-being. His mother’s alcoholism, drug history, repeated run-ins with the law, and emotional absence all contribute to neglect.

It’s also concerning that your mother didn’t step in—her lack of urgency suggests a disconnect or unwillingness to acknowledge the severity of the situation. If the adults around him aren’t ensuring his basic needs and emotional health, he is left vulnerable in ways that could shape his future in damaging ways.

The fact that your nephew was failing every class before arriving at your home, but is now passing, proves just how much a stable and supportive environment impacts his ability to succeed. You made a difference. You provided structure, care, and consistency—things that seem absent from his home life.

Your concern that he will lose this progress once he returns home is valid. Without an engaged guardian, it’s likely he will slip back into the same struggles—not because he lacks ability, but because he lacks the support system he needs.

It’s admirable that you want to respect his wishes to return home, but it’s also important to recognize why he wants to go back—not because it’s a healthy choice, but because it’s what’s familiar. Despite everything, he may feel a strong sense of loyalty toward his mother, or simply not fully understand the dangers of staying in a neglectful environment.

You are in a tough position—you want to protect him, but past attempts with child protective services have left you discouraged, and your family has been unsupportive. The fear of making things worse is understandable, but the reality is that doing nothing could also allow the neglect to continue unchecked.

Here are a few things to consider as you navigate this situation:

* Maintain an open line of communication – Let your nephew know that you are always a safe space, no matter what happens. Encourage him to reach out regularly, even if he’s back home.

* Seek guidance from professionals – While CPS was not effective before, there may be other organizations or professionals who can advocate for him differently. Consider consulting a family lawyer or social worker to explore other options.

* Prepare for emergencies – If things escalate and his situation worsens, would you be able to take him in more permanently? It might help to consider long-term solutions rather than reacting in the moment each time.

* Encourage him to build self-sufficiency – Since he’s thriving under your care, maybe help him develop tools to maintain progress even in a less supportive environment—whether that’s helping him organize study methods, stay motivated, or find trusted adults at school who can check in on him.

* Keep documentation – If anything serious happens, having a record of concerns (like failed classes, neglect, or troubling behavior) could strengthen a case for intervention in the future.

You are doing everything you can to help him, and even though the situation is frustrating, your presence in his life is meaningful. His time with you has shown him what stability feels like, even if he can’t stay permanently yet.

The decision of whether to file another CPS report is incredibly tough, but if neglect persists, it may be worth reconsidering—especially if his situation deteriorates. No matter what, keeping a strong connection with him will remind him that he is not alone and that someone cares deeply about his future.

Sending you strength as you navigate this—you’re doing far more for him than you may realize. 💙 Would love to hear your thoughts.

anita