This year has been the worst year. It started bad, very bad, had a good few.months then in september everything came crashing down around us 🙁

In november last year my hours got cut drastically and suddenly for the first time in 2 and a half years. I went from a 40hr week to 12 hrs per week in work. At the same time my other half got made redundant. We were no loger able to afford our rented property. On my 12 hrs alone there was no way we could save for deposit for new property in time. After christmas we were forced to move back on with my father while we attwmpted saving. In the new year my other half did manage to find a new job which helped. However around this time my father became abusive, controlling and violent. With still no decent money saved our only option was the streets or to stay. We stayed, but had to dive into.our savings when my father literally locked us out overnight in the snow we had last march 🙁 we wud stay at cheap as possible bnbs for a roof over our heads out of the cold. In may we finally managed to get out and rwnted a small but affordqble property. Shortly after, we found out we were expecting. We were so exited after a rocky start to the year things were starting to look up. We had r home, other half was in full time work. From may things were good, we were getting prepared.for our new arrival and getting on with happy life. Until september 6th 2013.

Without goong into major detail my waters broke while i.was at work. Rushed to hospital i had suffered a placental abruption and heamoraged. My baby girl was born at 9.01pm. She fell asleep forever in her daddys arms at 9.35pm. I was critically ill too, it was touch and go for a while. But i wish with every part of my soul i cud swap places with my baby angel.

Since then life is bleak. We had r daughters funeral but everything seems pointless. We so badly wanted r baby. All we do is sit and talk about her. Looking for things to blame but the truth is everyone did everything they possible could to save r tiny little lady. I was 27 weeks pregnant. That was almost 10weeks ago. Her due date is comin up. I dont no how we can sort r feelins or wat to do nxt. We r lost. Cant go thru her things and i still sleep holding her blanket that she had while in hospital.

Life sucks!!