I am 19 years old and I have been dating this boy for almost 2 years now. At the beginning (while seniors in high school) we clicked very well. He was nice and caring and funny. He was everything I wanted in a guy. After we graduated we hit a rocky point in our relationship. We were able to get through it and move one. Around August I started classes at a local college and he decided to stay back and work. His dad kicked him out of his house so he came and lived with my family until about Christmas time. He started to become lazy once moved in and a bit mean. I didn’t think anything of it considering he suffers from sever ocd and was away from home in a new environment. I continued to do everything he asked of me trying to make him feel comfortable and happy. I ended up dropping my classes and staying home most of the day, working in the evenings. He had trouble holding a job and I was always getting applications for him while he stayed home. In January he started to break up with me about every other week claiming he didn’t know what he wanted and didn’t know if he loved me or not. He moved back into his parents home and from January until present day we have been constantly breaking up, but a day or two after the break up we always come back to each other begging for one another to fix things and move forward. I always think of him, bringing him little surprises here and there and taking him out to his favorite places. I compliment him and make sure he knows how important he is to me. Some days he is nice but most days he is mean and angry towards me. He never thinks of me or makes time to see me. He never surprises me with the small things or compliments me. Never tells me how he feels or opens up unless it is about an ocd worry. I believe a lot has to do with his condition and that he is constantly on a high anxiety level so maybe his mind is focused more on the worries than me.. I have gone from a girl with tons of friends, who was Vice President in two clubs, National and state winner in both trumpet and animatronics to some girl with low self esteem. I feel worthless and inadequate. Sometimes I feel small and out of control. I cry a lot and he claims it annoys him very much. He also says he thinks about other girls he’s known and what it would be like to date them instead of me. I cant see a life without this guy. I don’t know why I feel so in love with him when I get treated poorly. I still look up to him and consider him my best friend. When he is nice he is everything I want but when he is mean it makes me feel like I hate him. I cannot find the strength to leave him when he is treating me bad. I just sit there and take it then he will apologize. It is a constant cycle and I am constantly anxious and worried about when it is going to end or what will I do today that will set him off and make him break up with me or call me names. I love him to death but it is killing me mentally and physically the way he treats me. He promises me every time we get together he will fix things and make an effort to be a better boyfriend but he only makes the effort for a day or two then goes back to being “unsure”. I am so lost within myself and within this relationship that I need some guidance. I don’t know who I am anymore and I feel like I don’t want to let this guy out of my life. I don’t know how to live without him by my side.