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It’s true: people can change. People can learn, grow, and surprise us. But if someone does the same thing, over and over again—if they keep hurting, disrespecting, or disappointing you—it’s time to accept the way things are and ask yourself if you can really live with this. You can’t make someone change their pattern if they’re not willing or ready, but you can stop participating in it.

Sometimes you simply have to accept that you can’t accomplish as much as you’d like to. If you’re sick, tired, or hurting emotionally, you just have to do what you reasonably you can and then give yourself whatever you need to feel better. You may feel like you’re falling behind, but you’re not failing. You’re doing what you need to do to take good care of yourself, and that’s the most important thing you can do when you’re struggling.

Have a little faith in your ability to handle whatever’s coming down the road. Believe that you have the strength and resourcefulness required to tackle whatever challenges come your way. And know that you always have the capacity to make the best of anything. Even if you didn’t want it or ask for it, even if seems scary or hard or unfair, you can make something good of any loss or hardship. You can learn from it, grow from it, help others through it, and maybe even thrive because of it. The future is unknown, but you can know this for sure: Whatever’s coming, you got this.

You can’t force anyone to value, respect, understand, or support you, but you can choose to spend your time around people who do.

Sometimes you just have to let yourself off the hook. Forget everything you didn’t check off your to-do list, forgive yourself for any mistakes, and stop dwelling on everything you think you could have done better. The past is behind you, and it can only control you if you let it. So let go of what you should have done and focus on the best you can going forward.

Standing up for yourself doesn’t make you argumentative. Sharing your feelings doesn’t make you oversensitive. And saying no doesn’t make you uncaring or selfish. If someone won’t respect your feelings, needs, and boundaries, the problem isn’t you; it’s them.

If you’re giving your all but it takes all you have just to get through the day, it doesn’t mean your best isn’t good enough. It means life is just that hard right now. Be good to yourself. You need it.

Tell people what you love about them. Less criticism, more compliments.

Sometimes all you can do is accept there’s not much you can do. And sometimes all you can control is how well you let go of control.

You can be whoever you want to be. Just be honest and kind. And be the kind of person who helps others see their worth and beauty.

Even if you’re barely holding it together or feel like you’re falling apart, you’re doing the best you can, and that’s reason to be proud.

This is for everyone who tries. Who tries to learn, tries to grow, tries to respond kindly and wisely, tries to recognize their own issues instead of blaming everyone else. This is for everyone who tries to be their best even when they’re not feeling their best. I see you. I appreciate you. And I hope you know you make the world a better place, just by being you.

Be like an elephant: Remember what matters, look out for your herd, and don’t be afraid to take up space.

No matter what you do, someone won’t be pleased. Someone will think your choices are wrong. And someone will tell you what should do instead. No matter which path you take, someone will seem to be doing better. Someone will have more than you. And someone else’s life may look more impressive on paper. If you’re being true to yourself, none of that will matter because you’ll have something more satisfying than approval and the illusion of “success”: a life that feels right for you, based on your own wants, needs, values, and priorities.

You can’t be everyone’s hero. You can’t take away everyone’s pain, solve all their problems, and make them feel happy with themselves and their lives. All you can do is love them, and that’s all you have to do. Just love them in their messiness, their confusion, their grief. See them, hear them, and accept them without judgment. Then let them know it’s okay to be right where they are, and if and when they need you, you’ll be there.

Be the person who breaks the cycle. If you were judged, choose understanding. If you were rejected, choose acceptance. If you were shamed, choose compassion. Be the person you needed when you were hurting, not the person who hurt you. Vow to be better than what broke you—to heal instead of becoming bitter so you can act from your heart, not your pain.

Whatever you’re feeling, be good to yourself. If you feel lost, be patient with yourself while you find your way. If you feel scared, be gentle with yourself while you find the strength to face your fear. If you feel hurt, be kind to yourself while you grieve and slowly heal. You can’t bully yourself into clarity, courage, or peace, and you can’t rush self-discovery or transformation. Some things simply take time, so take the pressure off and give yourself space to grow.

Most of us expect far too much from ourselves and never give ourselves credit for all the things we’re doing right. You’re trying your best, facing challenges that would likely overwhelm anyone, and learning and growing every day. And you’re doing it while feeling a range of messy, confusing emotions and healing from pains large and small from the past. Stop and give yourself a little credit. You’re stronger than you know, and you’re doing better than you think.

You don’t need to travel the world or do big things to live an extraordinary life. Be present. Notice the beauty around you. Be curious. Try the things that interest you. Be brave. Start the things you’ve been putting off. Create something. Learn something. Teach something. And do it all for the love of it.

Nobody’s perfect, so give yourself credit for everything you’re doing right, and be kind to yourself when you struggle.