What has helped me was telling a descriptive story. Like, “When you’re late to the party I feel like an un-chaperoned princess… Vulnerable, open to attack, anxious. My kingdom’s drawbridge is down. Anyone could get into the castle. Where is my knight?” If you do it well enough he should at least FEEL what you’re feeling.

Now, they may tell you their own descriptive story right back!

Another technique is to praise him on something that you want him to be that he’s shown a little evidence of in the past. Let’s say he did arrive to a party on time once. You can say, “Wow, I feel bad for Angie that Bob’s late again! By the way… You were very wise knowing that we couldn’t be late to the wine tasting event last month, and in fact arranged the transportation. I am so lucky you’re in my life!”

If you’re subtle and patient, it’s possible to change someone’s mind, but I usually don’t even make an attempt LOL.

Well, a narcissist is all about THEM. Maybe a “How would YOU feel if…?”

Another option is to make your problem their problem, have them feel ownership for it. “How does it make YOU look if you’re always late?” or better, “When you show up at a gathering on time, Honey, it’s the strangest thing, people think it’s YOUR party/club/venue!”