June 16, 2013 at 9:58 am #37011
So I am very glad to found this place, I’ve been building up my spiritual knowledge for a long time now, but recently I went through a dramatic experience that shook me and made me get tired of everything, and think why this happened to me, and what do I learn from this so I wont repeat it again etc.
So basically, I wanted to move to NYC, I was thinking about it for a long time, then I met a guy when I was visiting nyc, and things started to go very nicely, and all of a sudden I got an internship in nyc, things were happening so fast, after I got it, I felt ok, everything is going well, me and my guy were doing so well, and he was coming to my town to see me and I was going there.. and then once I accepted the internship offer things started to fall apart,I started to doubt, I needed money for it and it wasn’t coming, I was scared, I thought am I rushing into this because of this guy? The lady didn’t give me proper paper work for me for the internship, I am Canadian so I needed paperwork to move. And I started to feel like I am pushing this just for the guy, I wasn’t happy, I was scared, couldn’t even eat, had this very bad feeling in my stomach, everyone was saying why aren’t you happy, you love NYC. I did, and I do, my guy was starting to contact me less and less, I think he was not ready for me moving there, and was freaking out and i felt like I am going for him not for me,… anyways, long story short, things fell apart, they didn’t let me in at the border, of course because I didn’t have the proper document, and he stopped contacting me few days after he found out my plans are postponed until get things going again..
So now my question is; I have been working on myself quite a bit since then, trying to learn what went wrong and why I freaked out and how I should go with the flow, and listen to the universe properly instead of pushing something. It has been more than a month now, and i am doing much better, but I have an issue
I read the power of intention by Wayne Dyer, i’m sure everyone has read it, it helped me a lot, and made it clear what I want, I really do want to move to NYC, and as soon as I decided that yes that is what I want, and maybe I was doing it in a wrong way that is why didn’t happen. So I decided to just go with the flow and listen to the universe
unbelievably, ever since I am getting os many signs each day no one would be believe if I tell them. I would turn on the tv and the lady is saying to someone, you should move ot NYC. Or I sit in the book store to read and the song singing I’m in the new york state of mind, I could go on and on, so it became clear to me, this is what I suppose to do and i am suppose to be there, but they say look at the signs and go for it, but how?
My question is, the signs are all there, but at the moment now matter how much I look, I don’t see any lead, I am applying for jobs again and anything that has a tie to NYC I try, but basically it’s like shooting in the dark, I don’t see any signs for HOW to make it happen, Wayne Dyer says, when you have a desire and the signs are there, universe will make it happen, miracles happen.. Do I need to wait and see and it will happen on its own time? I am open to suggestion, I am currently doing whatever feels right, and not whatever others tell me you should, I learned this lesson in a very hard way.
Thank you in advance for your suggestion
I love having these communities
July 11, 2013 at 9:08 am #38423
I will put this in a different context for you. I have a twin flame. I live in the states and he lives in Sweden. We met through a mutual friend on Facebook while I was married (!). We understood each other well but he was not spiritually developed enough mixed with a huge ego. When I met him in person, I knew something was different with him. I knew him from a different time. He was a huge jerk to me. I remember sitting up the whole night crying the night before my return flight home.
I went through a huge change after meeting him. I accepted and made peace with things of my past. I grew out my hair, got rid of my car, became religiously observant, seperated and I lost 90 pounds. I immediately started to master Swedish and visited Sweden 2x’s since I met my twin flame.
I found out through past life “therapy” that I have lived in that same town he lives in for three life times with him! Boom! All of a sudden things started to make sense for me. I never understood why I wanted to live and learn Swedish so badly. I also never understood why my values were so opposite than fellow Americans. It is very difficult for me to live in the states especially knowing I should be elsewhere.
I’ve gone back to that town for the second and third visit. I had not heard from my twin flame but the universe did many things to me during that period. I ran into his company car that second visit. For a year, I saw that same car constantly everywhere. I sometimes saw 4-6 cars in a day. At this point, these cars were not common nor widely available in the states. Spirit froze my phone with his picture or start playing songs related to him on my phone after I came out of showers. Do not get me started on the blonde haired twins that I see constantly when I go out!
I continued to grow spiritually and ascended. One day, my twin flame’s upper self came to give me a visit at my house. The upper is the true self or soul, the lower is more the conscious self (i.e. ego). I could not believe it. I was finally given the opportunity to learn more about my past and work out all this past karma. The upper self visits often and is working with his lower self to bring us together.
I tried to force this situation a few times myself and it did not work. I realize now being a different person how it would not have worked for either of us but I did not see it then. We as humans understand things relative to time and space when it does not exist on the spiritual plane. My twin flame has to be as ascended for us to come together. I can fight it or so but this is my destiny and it won’t happen until he takes the steps to get where I am.
You clearly belong in NYC (past life I bet). That I can confirm from my own experiences. I agree that you forced the situaton when it was not supposed to happen. I also understand that strong desire knowing you belong somewhere else than where you are. Quite the test if you ask me.
I just returned from a trip to NYC. Let me ask you some things if I may. Are you prepared financially now for NYC’s cost of living via living below your means and savings? Is your education and work experience enough to sustain another job loss before you obtain citizenship? Is your health in order for you to move? Not only ask yourself these basic questions but consider what else is holding you back. The more you focus on yourself, the more you will find yourself moving towards NYC because you are learning the lessons or resolving the issues that are holding you back.
I know that I must save money because I see that the universe is slowly forcing the source of his ego to a end. I know there is a strong possibility that he will be jobless when we come together again. Therefore, I am finding clearance or coupons, selling them on Ebay and purchasing Swedish currency on Ebay at 30% under current value. I pay cash only where i can (i.e. I can not pay for a Ebay auction with cash =P) to prevent overspending, build my savings and avoid credit cards. I got rid of my car via donation after spirit broke it down infront of the only three Swedish mailboxes in the town (!!). He most likely will not have a car then either. It is common to bike or walk in this town we spent lifetimes in. Had I not worked on myself, I doubt the upper self would have come forward.
The first lesson we both have learned is patience. The second I must remind you is to keep your eyes open for signals from the spirit world and work on youself. You’ll be in the big apple before you know it =)
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- This reply was modified 8 months ago by JAC. Reason: grammar
July 11, 2013 at 1:44 pm #38442
Thank you so much for your responce, I have to say I have been reading and getting replays for couple of months now, and I really connected with what you said, and I hope I can talk to you more about this. All the questions you asked about NYC and being ready and material things to get me ready for it, the answer is no, that is why right now it seems impossible, other than the signs. That is why I really feel hopeless, I have been applying for jobs, and etc. but I do not have the money or the job offer etc. But I know if something is meant to be, in some weird way things happen, I have had that happen to me in the past, so I don’t know how to relate this to that.. The things you said about the car and the signs I totally relate to, and you also mentioned my guy issue, and yes, I think it was bad timing with us, I really don’t know, but I agree with you, if we are meant to cross paths again at the right time we will, so I am right now, just trying to deal with the memory of good times and just missing him, that’s all. But i have made peace with it. Health wise and stuff I am ok, I am working out, and meditating, and reading and writing 247, and trying to find my path, but basically seems like NOTHING is happening. Sometime things are on standstill and I feel such an urge to find a job since the money is tight. I was quite sure about NYC I mean I still am, but I am starting to thik maybe still it’s not the right timing, I am not sure, because I just feel hopeless in it. I have handed it to universe and basically surendeded my desires to him, because at this point I have no idea what else to do. I do not want to take another wrong step, I just want to do whatever is in alignment with my plan.
I totally agree with you that we don’t understand the reason behind things and the reality of things in present and depends on time. I was praying the other night that please god take the memory of this guy our of my heart because I don’t want to remember and i don’t wanna miss it and be hurt by it anymore, and do something that I would feel better.. The next morning I got a message from a different guy that i had dated years ago, that kinda ended the same way( much shorter and less serious but I was less mature back then and more angry) And the message just all of a sudden showed me how I had made up a story in my head about this guy because I had a certain expectation.. And now seemed silly, he was actually not a bad guy quite nice, and didn’t do anything wrong, I just wanted something different, and this made me feel so much better, as you said, that I will see the reason and the real story about my current guy later on maybe.
I feel like at this point, certain things are clear to me that I want and need and my heart belongs to, but the HOW and the WHAT TO DO is not.. I agree that I have be alert for signals, and i have been actually writing down coincidences and being aware all the time, but stil notthing quite clear, just little things that you are not sure is it really a sign or am I trying to make it a sign, you know what I mean?
Hope I can learn more from you, I really enjoyed your deep analyzing.
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July 11, 2013 at 3:14 pm #38458
One of the greatest things my teacher offered me was that synchronicity was “auspicious coincidence” where the internal and external are in harmony. To seek synchronicity as a means of guidance is like wishing to be present. The mind is positioned to look in the future, so the wishing inhibits the fulfillment. Said differently, when we are seeking guidance from outside, we are stepping away from our inner guidance… which is where all the magic comes from.
I can understand and relate to the odd and inspiring moments where things align just so… and we taste in a presence that is greater than we previously believed possible. It can help us remember our divine nature, but can also generate spiritual materialism, where we adopt a new identity of a “spiritual person in-tune with spirit” instead of dropping the aspects of self that generate confusion, lamentation and greed.
Instead, what we can do is allow the vibrancy of the world to flow through and around us. When we see signs, we breathe and let go. When we do not see signs, we breathe and let go. If we do not assign meaning to the synch, we retain the vibrancy and become more clear and resonant in our bodies. Or, if the synch pulls us in, we are able to reflect on what aspect of ego clung to the moment and move our mind back to the breath. Said differently, grace is something we experience when we are open enough to receive it.
Otherwise we slide back and forth between open and shut. We meditate and pray and then open, get a synch, cling to it as proof of something, and close. This makes it very confusing indeed, as well as draining as we attempt to open over and over. In my humble opinion, they are like fruit in the garden, where we can eat them, thank the universe for the energy, and keep walking. Nourishing but empty of persistent meaning.
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July 11, 2013 at 5:32 pm #38464
I am trying to get what you’re saying, but if we just see the signs and just let go, doesn’t that mean we are ignoring what universe is trying to tell us? How should I follow the path I am suppose to go down to if I don’t do anything about the signs? If you could explain a bit more, this is a bit unclear to me the things you said, I think I understood some parts of being present instead of trying to use the present moment, but the rest a bit confusing.. I understood the part of about closing and opening, cause I think that is exactly what i do, as soon as I get a sign or something great happens I cling to it.. but I just need to understand how I use that sign without thinking about it and going towards it
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July 11, 2013 at 6:23 pm #38467
I can hear the concern that if we do not “digest” the synchronized moment, we are somehow disregarding the information the universe is offering us… which might lead us down the wrong path. I respect the question, and can understand why it would be confusing!
Imagine for a moment that our life is much like a pinball loose on a pinball table. Moments of synchronicity are like seeing the bumpers, where the momentum (openness) of our being connects with the table. The connection is inherently shifting our direction as it is moving us into the next arc of development.
If we try to cling to the bumper as a “sign” we are meant to go “that” direction, we slow the momentum. It isn’t that we ignore the signs, its just that as we move along the table and open more and more, reality becomes explicitly synchronistic and full of “umm, here you are, wake up” guidance. It isn’t a material destination or some type of divination, rather the facilitation of our awakening as a community of divine beings.
For instance, if we think about NYC all the time, and remain open, we will experience NYC synchronicity. This doesn’t mean that NYC is our destiny, rather there is something to learn about our relationship to NYC. As we learn and settle the attachment keeping NYC on the mind all the time, we move on. Said differently, spinning thoughts about NYC or not NYC prevent us from seeing the guidance all around us… because instead of seeing, we’re busy thinking. When we let go (trust) and let the ball and the table do their job and let our job remain staying/becoming more open, we become more joyous. Then NYC or not NYC becomes immaterial, because where ever you go, there you are. And with you, the openness that allows joy and wisdom to flow through. Then, if you want NYC you will be open enough to see the shiny path that leads you there.
MattYou must be logged in to reply to this topic.