June 16, 2013 at 9:58 am #37011
So I am very glad to found this place, I’ve been building up my spiritual knowledge for a long time now, but recently I went through a dramatic experience that shook me and made me get tired of everything, and think why this happened to me, and what do I learn from this so I wont repeat it again etc.
So basically, I wanted to move to NYC, I was thinking about it for a long time, then I met a guy when I was visiting nyc, and things started to go very nicely, and all of a sudden I got an internship in nyc, things were happening so fast, after I got it, I felt ok, everything is going well, me and my guy were doing so well, and he was coming to my town to see me and I was going there.. and then once I accepted the internship offer things started to fall apart,I started to doubt, I needed money for it and it wasn’t coming, I was scared, I thought am I rushing into this because of this guy? The lady didn’t give me proper paper work for me for the internship, I am Canadian so I needed paperwork to move. And I started to feel like I am pushing this just for the guy, I wasn’t happy, I was scared, couldn’t even eat, had this very bad feeling in my stomach, everyone was saying why aren’t you happy, you love NYC. I did, and I do, my guy was starting to contact me less and less, I think he was not ready for me moving there, and was freaking out and i felt like I am going for him not for me,… anyways, long story short, things fell apart, they didn’t let me in at the border, of course because I didn’t have the proper document, and he stopped contacting me few days after he found out my plans are postponed until get things going again..
So now my question is; I have been working on myself quite a bit since then, trying to learn what went wrong and why I freaked out and how I should go with the flow, and listen to the universe properly instead of pushing something. It has been more than a month now, and i am doing much better, but I have an issue
I read the power of intention by Wayne Dyer, i’m sure everyone has read it, it helped me a lot, and made it clear what I want, I really do want to move to NYC, and as soon as I decided that yes that is what I want, and maybe I was doing it in a wrong way that is why didn’t happen. So I decided to just go with the flow and listen to the universe
unbelievably, ever since I am getting os many signs each day no one would be believe if I tell them. I would turn on the tv and the lady is saying to someone, you should move ot NYC. Or I sit in the book store to read and the song singing I’m in the new york state of mind, I could go on and on, so it became clear to me, this is what I suppose to do and i am suppose to be there, but they say look at the signs and go for it, but how?
My question is, the signs are all there, but at the moment now matter how much I look, I don’t see any lead, I am applying for jobs again and anything that has a tie to NYC I try, but basically it’s like shooting in the dark, I don’t see any signs for HOW to make it happen, Wayne Dyer says, when you have a desire and the signs are there, universe will make it happen, miracles happen.. Do I need to wait and see and it will happen on its own time? I am open to suggestion, I am currently doing whatever feels right, and not whatever others tell me you should, I learned this lesson in a very hard way.
Thank you in advance for your suggestion
I love having these communities
http://www.daubelle.comJuly 11, 2013 at 9:08 am #38423
I will put this in a different context for you. I have a twin flame. I live in the states and he lives in Sweden. We met through a mutual friend on Facebook while I was married (!). We understood each other well but he was not spiritually developed enough mixed with a huge ego. When I met him in person, I knew something was different with him. I knew him from a different time. He was a huge jerk to me. I remember sitting up the whole night crying the night before my return flight home.
I went through a huge change after meeting him. I accepted and made peace with things of my past. I grew out my hair, got rid of my car, became religiously observant, seperated and I lost 90 pounds. I immediately started to master Swedish and visited Sweden 2x’s since I met my twin flame.
I found out through past life “therapy” that I have lived in that same town he lives in for three life times with him! Boom! All of a sudden things started to make sense for me. I never understood why I wanted to live and learn Swedish so badly. I also never understood why my values were so opposite than fellow Americans. It is very difficult for me to live in the states especially knowing I should be elsewhere.
I’ve gone back to that town for the second and third visit. I had not heard from my twin flame but the universe did many things to me during that period. I ran into his company car that second visit. For a year, I saw that same car constantly everywhere. I sometimes saw 4-6 cars in a day. At this point, these cars were not common nor widely available in the states. Spirit froze my phone with his picture or start playing songs related to him on my phone after I came out of showers. Do not get me started on the blonde haired twins that I see constantly when I go out!
I continued to grow spiritually and ascended. One day, my twin flame’s upper self came to give me a visit at my house. The upper is the true self or soul, the lower is more the conscious self (i.e. ego). I could not believe it. I was finally given the opportunity to learn more about my past and work out all this past karma. The upper self visits often and is working with his lower self to bring us together.
I tried to force this situation a few times myself and it did not work. I realize now being a different person how it would not have worked for either of us but I did not see it then. We as humans understand things relative to time and space when it does not exist on the spiritual plane. My twin flame has to be as ascended for us to come together. I can fight it or so but this is my destiny and it won’t happen until he takes the steps to get where I am.
You clearly belong in NYC (past life I bet). That I can confirm from my own experiences. I agree that you forced the situaton when it was not supposed to happen. I also understand that strong desire knowing you belong somewhere else than where you are. Quite the test if you ask me.
I just returned from a trip to NYC. Let me ask you some things if I may. Are you prepared financially now for NYC’s cost of living via living below your means and savings? Is your education and work experience enough to sustain another job loss before you obtain citizenship? Is your health in order for you to move? Not only ask yourself these basic questions but consider what else is holding you back. The more you focus on yourself, the more you will find yourself moving towards NYC because you are learning the lessons or resolving the issues that are holding you back.
I know that I must save money because I see that the universe is slowly forcing the source of his ego to a end. I know there is a strong possibility that he will be jobless when we come together again. Therefore, I am finding clearance or coupons, selling them on Ebay and purchasing Swedish currency on Ebay at 30% under current value. I pay cash only where i can (i.e. I can not pay for a Ebay auction with cash =P) to prevent overspending, build my savings and avoid credit cards. I got rid of my car via donation after spirit broke it down infront of the only three Swedish mailboxes in the town (!!). He most likely will not have a car then either. It is common to bike or walk in this town we spent lifetimes in. Had I not worked on myself, I doubt the upper self would have come forward.
The first lesson we both have learned is patience. The second I must remind you is to keep your eyes open for signals from the spirit world and work on youself. You’ll be in the big apple before you know it =)
July 11, 2013 at 1:44 pm #38442
- This reply was modified 9 months, 1 week ago by JAC. Reason: grammar
Thank you so much for your responce, I have to say I have been reading and getting replays for couple of months now, and I really connected with what you said, and I hope I can talk to you more about this. All the questions you asked about NYC and being ready and material things to get me ready for it, the answer is no, that is why right now it seems impossible, other than the signs. That is why I really feel hopeless, I have been applying for jobs, and etc. but I do not have the money or the job offer etc. But I know if something is meant to be, in some weird way things happen, I have had that happen to me in the past, so I don’t know how to relate this to that.. The things you said about the car and the signs I totally relate to, and you also mentioned my guy issue, and yes, I think it was bad timing with us, I really don’t know, but I agree with you, if we are meant to cross paths again at the right time we will, so I am right now, just trying to deal with the memory of good times and just missing him, that’s all. But i have made peace with it. Health wise and stuff I am ok, I am working out, and meditating, and reading and writing 247, and trying to find my path, but basically seems like NOTHING is happening. Sometime things are on standstill and I feel such an urge to find a job since the money is tight. I was quite sure about NYC I mean I still am, but I am starting to thik maybe still it’s not the right timing, I am not sure, because I just feel hopeless in it. I have handed it to universe and basically surendeded my desires to him, because at this point I have no idea what else to do. I do not want to take another wrong step, I just want to do whatever is in alignment with my plan.
I totally agree with you that we don’t understand the reason behind things and the reality of things in present and depends on time. I was praying the other night that please god take the memory of this guy our of my heart because I don’t want to remember and i don’t wanna miss it and be hurt by it anymore, and do something that I would feel better.. The next morning I got a message from a different guy that i had dated years ago, that kinda ended the same way( much shorter and less serious but I was less mature back then and more angry) And the message just all of a sudden showed me how I had made up a story in my head about this guy because I had a certain expectation.. And now seemed silly, he was actually not a bad guy quite nice, and didn’t do anything wrong, I just wanted something different, and this made me feel so much better, as you said, that I will see the reason and the real story about my current guy later on maybe.
I feel like at this point, certain things are clear to me that I want and need and my heart belongs to, but the HOW and the WHAT TO DO is not.. I agree that I have be alert for signals, and i have been actually writing down coincidences and being aware all the time, but stil notthing quite clear, just little things that you are not sure is it really a sign or am I trying to make it a sign, you know what I mean?
Hope I can learn more from you, I really enjoyed your deep analyzing.
http://www.danubelle.comJuly 11, 2013 at 3:14 pm #38458
One of the greatest things my teacher offered me was that synchronicity was “auspicious coincidence” where the internal and external are in harmony. To seek synchronicity as a means of guidance is like wishing to be present. The mind is positioned to look in the future, so the wishing inhibits the fulfillment. Said differently, when we are seeking guidance from outside, we are stepping away from our inner guidance… which is where all the magic comes from.
I can understand and relate to the odd and inspiring moments where things align just so… and we taste in a presence that is greater than we previously believed possible. It can help us remember our divine nature, but can also generate spiritual materialism, where we adopt a new identity of a “spiritual person in-tune with spirit” instead of dropping the aspects of self that generate confusion, lamentation and greed.
Instead, what we can do is allow the vibrancy of the world to flow through and around us. When we see signs, we breathe and let go. When we do not see signs, we breathe and let go. If we do not assign meaning to the synch, we retain the vibrancy and become more clear and resonant in our bodies. Or, if the synch pulls us in, we are able to reflect on what aspect of ego clung to the moment and move our mind back to the breath. Said differently, grace is something we experience when we are open enough to receive it.
Otherwise we slide back and forth between open and shut. We meditate and pray and then open, get a synch, cling to it as proof of something, and close. This makes it very confusing indeed, as well as draining as we attempt to open over and over. In my humble opinion, they are like fruit in the garden, where we can eat them, thank the universe for the energy, and keep walking. Nourishing but empty of persistent meaning.
MattJuly 11, 2013 at 5:32 pm #38464
I am trying to get what you’re saying, but if we just see the signs and just let go, doesn’t that mean we are ignoring what universe is trying to tell us? How should I follow the path I am suppose to go down to if I don’t do anything about the signs? If you could explain a bit more, this is a bit unclear to me the things you said, I think I understood some parts of being present instead of trying to use the present moment, but the rest a bit confusing.. I understood the part of about closing and opening, cause I think that is exactly what i do, as soon as I get a sign or something great happens I cling to it.. but I just need to understand how I use that sign without thinking about it and going towards it
DanubelleJuly 11, 2013 at 6:23 pm #38467
I can hear the concern that if we do not “digest” the synchronized moment, we are somehow disregarding the information the universe is offering us… which might lead us down the wrong path. I respect the question, and can understand why it would be confusing!
Imagine for a moment that our life is much like a pinball loose on a pinball table. Moments of synchronicity are like seeing the bumpers, where the momentum (openness) of our being connects with the table. The connection is inherently shifting our direction as it is moving us into the next arc of development.
If we try to cling to the bumper as a “sign” we are meant to go “that” direction, we slow the momentum. It isn’t that we ignore the signs, its just that as we move along the table and open more and more, reality becomes explicitly synchronistic and full of “umm, here you are, wake up” guidance. It isn’t a material destination or some type of divination, rather the facilitation of our awakening as a community of divine beings.
For instance, if we think about NYC all the time, and remain open, we will experience NYC synchronicity. This doesn’t mean that NYC is our destiny, rather there is something to learn about our relationship to NYC. As we learn and settle the attachment keeping NYC on the mind all the time, we move on. Said differently, spinning thoughts about NYC or not NYC prevent us from seeing the guidance all around us… because instead of seeing, we’re busy thinking. When we let go (trust) and let the ball and the table do their job and let our job remain staying/becoming more open, we become more joyous. Then NYC or not NYC becomes immaterial, because where ever you go, there you are. And with you, the openness that allows joy and wisdom to flow through. Then, if you want NYC you will be open enough to see the shiny path that leads you there.
MattJuly 11, 2013 at 9:03 pm #38469
Having lived with my situation for two years and going through my experiences, Laleh’s situation is much deeper than any “synchonrized” issue. There are times when the spirit world let us know very clearly where we are supposed to move or go based on our life path. I’ve had this happen to me a few times prior to meeting my twin flame. The first was religion. I would sit in a church and feel a strong pull that it was way wrong. It was only when my jewish ex boyfriend took me to temple that everyhing made complete sense to me. The second was the strong pull to move from my hometown to here. There was no way I could meet my twin flame with all the family issues that bombared me on a regular basis in my home town. I have more situations where there was an intentional move by the spirit world, this should suffice.
Laleh, I am starting to see why you are being held back in regards to NYC. You need to start working on the most basic issues. You need to start preparing for this move. This means working on a budget and spending so that you can start to save money. If you have no job, find one locally or attempt to make income legally. You can resell stuff on Ebay, offering services to those who need help (like shopping or cutting grass for an elderly person), offer tutoring in a subject you’ve excelled in. There are many ways to think outside of the box and earn some income. You also need to get your education in order if you feel it is not where it needs to be and start to pare down your personal belongings. You know you are seeing the signs, you know where you belong. Do not doubt this.
I am happy to share any of my experiences or advice to help you.July 12, 2013 at 7:23 am #38478
Give a woman a fish and she eats once, show her how to fish and she eats forever. Your words scrape across my heart as hubris, certainty, imperiousness, and delusion. It seems that one who is in tune with spirit to such a degree would respect free will enough not to command others? Perhaps its back to the cushion? My teacher has said we nourish our friends with illumination of the relationship between inside and out, rather than divining their signs for them.
Danubelle, I apologize for having a side conversation in your thread… it feels like an invasion on your sacred space. Clearly JAC and I have different approaches, but I hope you find some nourishment in our words wherever you may go next.
MattJuly 12, 2013 at 8:33 am #38484
Thank you so much for the explanation, the thing is, I agreed with you but that is a “Logical” person talking; about working on having money etc. We both know that if something is aligned and meant to happen everything comes together magically, I have had that before, so I don’t believe in that I have to do those things to make something happen, of course right now because nothing is happening, I have no choice but find a job here, but I don’t believe me planning for it has anything to do with it, since when something is meant to happen it usually does without me even trying. ANyways, but I do agree that I have to feel good about moving to NYC, and if i am not ready emotionally (which means having things in order) I wont feel good about it, that is what happened last time, everything got together without me even puahing, but I started to panic and doubt, because I felt like it might be the wrong move and felt like I am dong it for the wrong reasons so eveyrthing fell apart after that. I am done with my education, seems like we understand each others language quite well, you underdtand what I am going through which is great and makes me feel better that someone knows what I am saying. RIght now I feel like after that huge set back, I refuse to just to what I was doing before, doing shitty jobs and waiting for something great, I feel like I am at the point that I am going to start do what I love to do, and I have been knocked around for too long, this incident had a huge impact on me, and I refuse to let it go to waste, that is why I am trying so hard to find out what to do with it. I think I have finally admited to myself what I want to do and what i love to do when I am in nyc, and I already started doing it here online, I don’t want to talk about it much because I don’t want to give it away u know what I mean? but bascally I’ve loved to write all my life and help others with my writing, and despite everything I never had the courage to make it a career, now this came to me when I went through this whole thing.
ANyways, last night I found out I have to find a job or money very fast because my brother is giving up his apartment to go somewhere else and i need to find a place on my own, which I have no money for. But this shows me things are coming, I cried a bit at first but then remembered, these things always showed me something is happening, something good.
The job suggesitons were great thank you I see if I can try those. But I really thank you for beliving in my feeling, I know in my heart I belong in NYC, maybe the time hasn’t come yet, i just have to see what I can do to be ok right now.
Thank you guys so much for caring and helping me out I really appreciate both of your help cause it is opening my eyes a bit more, but I have to say your explanation got me more confused about what you said about not acting on signs..
If you could just say in my case and practical way so I would understand, so what you are saying is that, when I see signs everywhere about NYC I should just see acknowledge and walk away? Not to think what to do about it? I have read so many times that, that is exactly what i am not suppose to do if i want ot listen to universe. So if you were in my situation, I understand you want to teach me how to do it myself, but this is tricky because what would do, if you have to decide right now, if you should look for a job in NYC or Toronto?
I have been doing both because I didn’t know what to do! ANd know this is not gonna give me results if i am not concentrating and focusing on one thing. So that is why I was asking what to do, because right now I need a job that pays rent and bills and i can handle and not feel like I wanna kill myself every time I go to work, and I don’t want to make another mistake of taking a detiour and I want to do exactly what i am suppose to do. That is why I am trying to listen to universe, I don’t want to waste any more time, I feel like it’s time for me now to listen and have courage to do it. I want to be a writer and help others with my writing (this is my passion and recently I finally got the courage to admit it after everyone kept telling me how good I am to understanding others and I kept ignoring it)
I do agree and understand some parts of your saying that I should just go with the flow and not cling and etc. And it is totally fine to see different point of views, you never know what and who is going come to your rescue. Right now JAC is a bit more clear and I can relate to it more because I just need a bit of direction from someone that understand what I am saying, as you Matt might be correct but it might be a bit to hard for me to understand it and put it in to action, since seems like you have not understood the urgency of my situation. In practical matters I need to know where to go for work, and just passing by the signs are not going to help me. Maybe I didn’t understand it properly.
DanubelleJuly 12, 2013 at 10:41 am #38488
Yes, I can see you want to know which way you’re supposed to go, and looking outside for yourself for that! No wonder the wheel spins! This is why it becomes confusing when we regard synchronicity as signposts… when we are conflicted, so are the signs.
I’ll try it this way. The universe is fertile to our desires, so it is not about “where should I go” but rather “what does my heart want”. You are not separate from the process being lead on a journey, you are the captain. The beauty of the universe flows through us. So the question isn’t “what does the universe want with me” but rather “as part of the universe, my loving intentions are the light that guides me home.” We have to drop the struggle between this way and that and let go. That’s when the path in front of us lights up.
I accept your urgency, and respect it. That turmoil pits heart against mind… as we sit between a rock and a hard place. Its like a being stretched across a gap with fingers on one side and toes on the other. The only solution is to let go of both sides… soon the air rushing around you will remind you how alive you are, and the path home shines brightly. Can you see how much of your energy and creativity is being consumed by the conflict between what you want to do and what you think you’re supposed to do because of factors you cling to?
Perhaps if JAC’s words resonate with you, they are good to follow. Your heart already knows… it doesn’t really need JAC or Matt or anyone else to decide for it.
MattJuly 12, 2013 at 11:41 am #38495
Matt, I disagreed with your premise, not you personally. Personal attacks as “Your words scrape across my heart as hubris, certainty, imperiousness, and delusion” are not based from spirituality.
Lelah, I am finding these events happening to you (i.e.you wrote that you left if up to the spirit world to make things happen like money then you ended stating you need to find income for an apartment for example) as a push towards what you need to do. The one thing I’ve learned is we have limited free will as we have life paths to go down and a destiny to fulfill when we are ready in “their” eyes. These last two years have shown me that my eyes blinds and limits me.
July 12, 2013 at 11:45 am #38497
- This reply was modified 9 months, 1 week ago by JAC.
Thank you Matt,
Now I understand a bit better what you were trying to say. And I agree with you, it does seem like my heart wants something but the circumstances outside seem make it impossible so it makes me feel lost. I see what you’re saying, so it means that it’s not about what universe wants, because what is my real desire IS what the universe wants, so I think you are right, maybe my doubt about NYC or anything for that matter has made things to be blocked. But as far as the signs go; you mentioned the signs are confusing because I am conflicted, but that is not the case; the signs ALL of them are saying NYC. I tried to ignore it at first to be honest. And I agree that I am lost, but the fact that I saw the signs was after I started asking myself and meditated and etc. to get a bit of direction, and after that these signs appeared. I agree that I have to let go, I just don’t know how since I have to find a job right now, and to be honest I really don’t want to!! I really don’t want to do another job that I hate, and I know it’s simple to others, my brother says, well when you have to, you have to. This word has never had a meaning for me. I do’t believe I HAVE to do anything. I want to do what I love to do, and I think it’s time for it.
You’re metaphors are nice, but to be honest it’s confusing. I understand better when you are being more realistic though
So, if i want to only look at what my heart wants, I want to do what I love to do and I want to live in NYC someday, but right now I REALLy don’t know what to do about it, because seems like I can not do anything about it that’s the problem. I have been trying to let go and do what you’re suggesting, but seems like I really don’t feel like doing anything, I mean I feel like no matter what I do nothing is happening, so I have lost power. I think I am emotionally tired of trying, even though I know what I want, I feel helpless in making it happen because it seems out of my hand, and I am just trying to do what I love to do which is read 247 and write, and wait for some kind of a miracle to make things happen.
DanubelleJuly 12, 2013 at 11:48 am #38498
I do agree with you and really helps me that you understand, I think Matt is speaking in different term and on different level than me and you are, not all of what he is saying seems to apply here. He is going in general and deep that might be suitable for another kind of situation. You are more in touch with what I am saying and with reality that i am having. But I still do agree in some thing he is saying in general. And I do agree that spiritual people don’t judge and oporate from ego, I was surprised by that comment from matt but chose to ignore it, because I am here to find out what to do not to argue
Thanks again guys
DanubelleJuly 12, 2013 at 12:34 pm #38503
I was editing my post you referenced when you replied. I added:
“Lelah, I am finding these events happening to you (i.e.you wrote that you left if up to the spirit world to make things happen like money then you ended stating you need to find income for an apartment for example) as a push towards what you need to do. The one thing I’ve learned is we have limited free will as we have life paths to go down and a destiny to fulfill when we are ready in “their” eyes. These last two years have shown me that my eyes blind and limit me.”July 12, 2013 at 12:39 pm #38504
That is a good point and I agree, and i know I have to do something I just feel like I’m pushing, I’ve been applying for jobs every single day for last two months and nothing… So that is why I felt like I have to just wait and see and let it happen, because my attempts seem to just hit the wall..I didn’t understand the last part of your post about limited free will and the blind part, how does that work here?