July 27, 2013 at 11:54 am #39286
Hi, I have been suffering from severe anxiety and depression over the past several months and most of it stems from body dysmorphic disorder. It actually started when I was 16, but I suppressed the feelings for so many years through distractions, and avoiding the root of the problem. Eventually I even had a couple of minor plastic surgery procedures, which only seemed to make matters worse. Now I am facing my insecurities and they have come out full force (they say what you resist, persists). For so many years I associated youth and appearance with being accepted, happy and successful. I am half filipino, and grew up in a predominately Caucasian community. I remember having a best friend in 5th grade who was white, and told me that I should never meet her dad because he would automatically despise me since I was Asian. Since then, I felt ashamed of my appearance and started picking at every feature of my face (mostly my nose and eyes). I was also teased by other kids at school, which really affected me. I know in my heart that appearance isn’t everything but my subconscious mind has stored information that I’ve gathered over the years since I was a teenager (I am now 32). I have had friends and family also comment on my appearance at times (telling me I look better wearing make-up, etc). I have always been extremely sensitive, so anytime I would hear something like that, I would feel even worse. For the longest time I had a complex about my body issues because I felt that people would see me as being shallow and vain for being concerned with my looks, but it really stems from the fear of not being accepted. I have been doing a lot of spiritual work over the past few months and really trying to connect with my true self. There are moments when I feel amazing, free and at peace with myself, but then I start thinking negative thoughts about my appearance again. I am working on meditating and being mindful, which definitely helps, I just need to be patient, persistent and compassionate towards myself. A lot of my anxiety has come from these negative thoughts and then I start stressing about stressing, because I know it’s bad for my health. It seems like I am digging myself into a bigger hole sometimes and I feel so helpless. I have always been anxious by nature, so I’m really trying to find ways of dealing with it. I am determined to work through these issues though and find peace within myself. I know that I am not my body or my mind–I just want to stop having these negative thoughts because they have been taking over my life. I was wondering if anyone else out there has had the same issues.July 28, 2013 at 1:09 pm #39337
Charquise Berry | Life CoachParticipant
First I want to comment you for taking the bold step of allowing yourself to pour our your heart on the forum. Secondly, I want you to know that you’re not the only person with this issue. I have went through this as well. Recently, I just started accepting myself for who I am and it has done some amazing things since I made that decision. I am now more confident in myself, I know my value and worth, and I’m just amazed at how I never saw that in myself before.
Believe it or not, you are already taking the actions you need to take to get to the point where you are comfortable in your skin and embracing your uniqueness. The spiritual work you are doing will definitely get you there and you are already one step closer to uncovering your authentic being and loving yourself for who you are.
I am a Law of Attraction Relationship Coach and I help people from all walks of life. I would love to work with you on this issue you are having. From my personal experience, I know how hard this is for you and I would love to be of service to help you out. I can offer you a complimentary session so you can see how it works and how empowering and inspirational it will be for you. You can contact me at http://www.charquiseberry.com, firstname.lastname@example.org, or at 858-621-3455. Even just to talk when the times get rough and you need some clarity.
Let me know by contacting me through any of the channels above. I am here for you.
With all of my love,
CharquiseAugust 9, 2013 at 9:28 pm #40116
I can completey relate…I have so much I wish I could write but I just don’t have it in me to write anything right now but trust me, I can totally relate….I never knew about that body disorder…I have always been diagnosed as depressed, anxiety disorder, alcoholic, drug addict, Ptsd…but it all stems from the hate I carry around for myself….I have always hated everything about me….as a kid my mom was verbally abusive so she used to call me ugly and tell me I would never be as pretty as she was and my father wanted absolutely nothing to do with me but he wanted my brother…since childhood I have been through so many bad things in life…I draw abusive people to me…I really cant believe that I am 40years old and I have so much hate for myself still…inside and out especially….it hurts so bad to hate yourself and to be so uncomfortable in your own skin….its horrible…so trust me, you are not alone if you ever want to talk or text, my name is Alana and my number is 4138852088 and my email is email@example.comAugust 9, 2013 at 9:30 pm #40117
oh and I should also add that I am a single mother of two boys and I know kids do as we do so I want them to grow to love themselves and never feel about themselves as I have my whole life…..its such a struggle