Dear amde20:

I didn’t forget about the writing exercise you did, the answers to my questions. We can attend to it more later, if you’d like.
A more pressing problem is that Inner Critic of yours, that voice in your head (we all have it but in some it is too demanding and in some it is also abusive), that has been beating you up for two and a half months for a 30 second lapse of judgment.

Are you familiar with the concept of the Inner Critic?

When you were a baby and a young child, you didn’t have that Inner Critic yet. That is why a baby has no problem going to the bathroom in front of people feeling no shame. As the child grows up, the parent/s tell the child: don’t do this! And don’t do that!

Some of the instructions by the parent are reasonable, such as toilet training and some eating manners and … waiting your turn in line and such social behaviors. But often enough a parent will be too demanding, insisting the child makes no mistakes. Sometimes parents punish and beat up the child severely for small mistakes.

The child internalizes over time the parent into the brain, and the parent becomes that voice and takes over the job of the parent. If the parent severely punished the child for mistakes, the Inner Critic will take up that role.

It is soon to be my bed time. I would like to read a reply from you here, on whether you are familiar with the Inner Critic concept and if your parent/s indeed beat you up for making mistakes…?

You didn’t hurt anyone but yourself during those thirty seconds. Have empathy for you- you are the one that was hurt. Don’t add to your hurt with more beating, please.

anita