The Buddha absolutely forgives you, blank. The mind is a tool that we have to work with and for the most of us we make ourselves a slave of our mind without even knowing it and in times of deep fear and anxiety, it takes over and troubles you. You are not your mind or those thoughts that are troubling you, blank. As Anita said a counsellor will be able to help you calm your fears and anxiety and fixing the root cause can make this go away.
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 