Hi K–

You are going through a grieving process–grieving the loss of the relationship, of your hopes, dreams and plans for the future, and the sense of purpose that a deep connection with another person can give. It is hard and it is painful, and it is also necessary. Fortunately it is not forever, and you will learn a good deal about yourself, what you’re capable of, what you need from life, and what will bring joy.

It sounds like you are beginning to accept that the relationship was not meant to be, and that you need to move on and get on with your life. You’ve mentioned your amazing friends…it is good that you have their love and support to help you heal. Spend a lot of time with them. Do fun things with them. Even if it hurts to think of having fun without your former partner, go out and do it anyway. Take the “geographical cure” if you are able–visit a foreign country or a city you’ve always wanted to see, especially somewhere you’ve never been, that you can discover on your own and build a new memory that does not include your former partner. (Myself, I would prefer to go alone…but it would be fun with a friend!)

Do the things you enjoyed doing yourself, with or without him. Did you enjoy cooking? Was there a particular style of cooking you’d always wanted to try, but you did not with him? Try it out! Look up a recipe online or check out a cookbook. Do something new and exciting, by yourself, for yourself.

It does get less and less painful as time passes. How much time it will take depends on you…everyone has to grieve and heal in their own time. Remember, you are a wonderful individual in your own right. Just because he is no longer a part of your life does not make you any less of a person!

Take care of yourself and be well.