Dear eris:

I am glad you are making good progress! I understand the unwillingness to feel empathy for the abuser- that is self destructive. It is only natural and constructive to feel anger at a person who is hurting us, that is the purpose of anger: to fight off a person who is hurting us. It is the case in other animals. (And I am talking about the feeling itself, not the behavior following the feeling).

Now that your mother is dead and mine is out of my life, anger has no practical purpose. The one hurting us, the danger is gone. Except for the Bull, the abusive Inner Critic, keeping her work going. This is why you are a matador, the one in control. This is why I am in the process of healing, on The Healing Path, to stop the self abuse, to undo the significant consequences of the abuse.

anita