Dear Rocccks, i’m glad it helped!
About the thinking part:
I had to move out, so the first two to three weeks I was pretty occupied.
Honestly, I still think about it every day, usually several times, but not excessively. In the beginning there was a lot of anger, I thought a lot about why and what happened. I think this is completely normal, and its healthy to experience your own anger.
But I think its also good to be careful not to get stuck in bitterness and anger, because that will only hurt you, not him. He does not deserve this kind of power over your life and wellbeing.
I tried to gain the perspective that my Ex did not do this to hurt ME, but that he would have done it anyways to anyone and that HE is just like that, and in the end it’s got nothing to do with me or my worth as a person (because that’s the part that hurts). I have never looked at his FB-Page once, and blocked all content and chat function and all.
The first weeks I vented to friends here and there, but now, whenever I recognize that I’m losing myself over this, I try to ask myself: Is this helping ME right now? Is this getting ME anywhere? Is there anything I will gain from thinking about this? The answer is usually “NO“. 😀
It takes a while and I think its completely normal to think about it a lot. Just be aware of it and try to again and again to shift the focus to what YOU need to learn from this situation and how YOU can deal with it in a better way, and don’t get stuck in anger and blaming. I am right now trying to use the experience to have better relationships -next time a guy like this comes around I will be more aware, I will not take crap and trust my own feelings if something feels off.
It will get better very gradually, and one day you will wake up and recognize happily that you don’t give a f… ;-D
You have got a lot of positive energy and the will to live a good life, so don’t worry! :-)))
Also, I find that being on your own feels much better than feeling insecure and on the edge in a relationship all the time! We will rock!
So long

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