Home→Forums→Health and Fitness→Panic attacks/agoraphobia
- This topic has 11 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 8 years, 2 months ago by Livelovelifeeleni HappyMotivation, Advice, Outreach & LifeCoaching.
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July 17, 2016 at 7:51 am #109834SteveParticipant
Hi Guys
Just joined up today so thought I’d say hello and maybe start a thread so I can let you guys know where I’m at and hopefully fill you in on progress I make as I try and turn my life into a ‘mindful’ one..
Been suffering from anxiety for a while that turned into panic attacks, then agoraphobia where I was and still am avoiding pretty much everything to stop me having another attack.
Luckily I’ve been able to work from home as I work in the IT trade, although that might be coming to a stop soon as my employer want to dismiss me on health grounds..
I first went off sick in 2012, and have been at home since.
Back in the dark days I tried a meditation class. I was all over the place to begin with feeling like my head would explode with a huge urge to get up and walk out. The first guided meditation of breath helped, but I was still all over the place.
The second one was a mediation where you had to visualise a blue sky, and whenever a thought came into your head, imagine it as a cloud. Then as your attention came back tot the sky to picture the cloud dispersing. After 20 mins of this when it finished I couldn’t believe it, I was truly relaxed, in a situation where previously there’s no way I would have been able to cope!
things kind of went downhill from that point, the next session I had to attend on my own and it was a nightmare panic wise and I never went back.
The next few years were spent trying to get right with medication and cbt therapy, but I just cant seem to stay in a panic situation long enough to let it pass over and die away, so I’m reinforcing things.
Which I guess is why I’m here to try and get into mindfulness and try that approach. After reading a couple of articles on here and also starting to read ‘Calming the rush of panic’ which is a mindfulness based book, I’m going to give it a go.
Very early days yet so will let you all know how things go and any advise will truly be appreciated!! 🙂
July 17, 2016 at 8:09 am #109835AnonymousGuestDear stevethepanicer:
Glad you are here and do hope being here helps you.
I didn’t understand this part of your post: “The next few years were spent trying to get right with medication and cbt therapy, but I just cant seem to stay in a panic situation long enough to let it pass over and die away, so I’m reinforcing things.” Can you explain:
How did/ does medication work for you, what kinds did/ are you taking?
How did CBT work/ is working for you?
What do you mean by not staying in a panic situation “long enough”- do you mean long enough to apply skills? How are you reinforcing things?anita
July 17, 2016 at 8:30 am #109837SteveParticipantHi, thanks for getting back to me:)
So what I was try to say I guess was that I went off sick from work in 2012, and since then apart from the one time I went to the meditation class, everything else I’ve tried to beat the agoraphobia has been through the health service. I’ve been prescribed a couple of different ssri medications which may have helped with the day to day anxiety, fr example racing thoughts etc, but didn’t stop the panic attacks. This was probably because I’d let it snowball and completely take over my life before asking for help via the doctor. I also was prescribed beta blockers which were great as they took away the adrenaline feeling which I hated.
I’ve also had some cut therapy, from guided self help to two separate high intensity courses. With the CBT, I know that the whole point of it is to get to the stage where you ride out an attack and then prove to yourself that there is nothing at the other side, but that’s what I’m struggling with.
July 17, 2016 at 8:46 am #109841SteveParticipantAmd when I say reinforcing things, I mean that by by avoiding situations or bailing out when a panic attack starts I’m reinforcing the negative beliefs that they are dangerous. So the cycle carries on…
July 17, 2016 at 8:56 am #109842AnonymousGuestDear stevethepanicer:
I am very interested in reading your posts above but have to leave. Will be back in hours from now to read and reply. One more thing, if you are willing to share, and for me to read later:
Any insight into the origin of your anxiety (excess, ongoing fear), and do you think such is relevant?
One more thing: do you exercise, on a treadmill at home maybe… because of the agoraphobia?
anita
July 17, 2016 at 10:23 am #109850SteveParticipantThink the origin is definitely stress related. For a number of years I would only get the odd panic attack maybe one every couple of months. Didn’t even know they were panic attacks at the time. They only seemed to occur when I was driving on the motorway. Randomly out of the blue I’d feel like I was going to faint and go all dizzy and get a sense of derealization. Driving everywhere else was fine. It was weird because I’d always loved driving and was pretty confident. Then the attacks started happening in work when I was in a busy office or out socialising. I only realised that they were panic attacks when I googled “going dizzy when driving”. As for exercise no I hardly get any and I know it’s something I should change. Probably also my diet too.
July 17, 2016 at 5:12 pm #109886Maria_LParticipantHello!
I am sorry to hear about your panic attacks, cause I recently suffered from this kind of situation also. I was kind of like you, I’d only had 2-3 attacks per year in extremely stressful situations, but they never disrupted my life till now. Given the fact that you are battling this for a while, I guess you might know more than me, and I know there is more to this story as anita suggested (what caused them, really… fear of what exactly, and when did they start and why). From my brief but really really ‘intense’ experience, I can only sincerely help by pointing out the 3 crucial mistakes why you still struggle:
1. exercise… It’s a must, really. Till you ‘lose yourself’!! Than a hot shower and mint/chamomile tea. It works better than a pill, confirmed by many anxiety ‘sufferers’ like us :). I am lazy person myself but since I discovered this, I’d walk 3 hours per day just to feel good. Every day if I have to. Once I ‘lock’ myself inside the apartment, trust me no meditation or online course can help me (and I do yoga and meditate every day almost, do breathing exercise few times daily, now also doing the ‘mindfulness’ course, gone through CBT, medications, etc ). Before you ‘reason’ this out with your gray brain cells, you need to ‘train’ your body to relax. So make yourself tired, every day, as long as you can. You will not have the strength to ‘fear’. Trust me.
2. Socializing… You said you work from home. how much time do you spend with people? I hope you are not alone with your self destructive thoughts all the time… Socializing is the best way to release Oxycontin, one of the happy hormones that battle anxiety big time. My friend who also suffered from anxiety (she worked in busy hospital -ER, can you imagine the stress and panic? ), battled panic by making herself surrounded with dear friends as much as possible. She didn’t have childhood trauma that a therapist needed to sort out, she didn’t do yoga or meditate, or did tones of research like me .. but she got better 🙂
3. Do not give into fear. It’s fine that you decided for now to stay at home, cause you can’t sort out all at once, I know. You shouldn’t. So your home is your safe zone, and it’s great !(cause imagine not having one-like me 🙂 ). But you need to slowly gain your confidence, day by day. So I am not saying to go bungee jumping, or get yourself into the messy crowd. This is also advice you’d get from any good therapist, you need to face slowly your fears, at your own pace, and make yourself comfortable during this. So try walking few block further than comfortable, few meters if that’s too much… with someone you trust maybe. Do your own ‘plan’ you can work with. Applaud yourself for every small success. Just remember, the key is one small step at a time! You will feel good once you start believing that you are starting to be in charge. I know it can be scary, I know how you feel. I don’t want to be alone, to be in closed space like train or bus for hours, to go in new strange city. But still I travel every weekend. I try to explain my partner how challenging it is for me to do simple stuff sometimes, but maybe when I think twice, his effort to treat me as ‘normal’ was the force that made me ‘act’ normal when I also just wanted to stay at home, all the time, with my dark fears.I sincerely wish you all the best. I know you will get through this, I know many who have, and you (and me) will be one of those people… You will always have challenging moments, but it will get better, much much better. Remember (as you probably learned in CBT), anxiety and panic are not life threatening, you are not going to ‘die’, stop breathing, faint, go crazy… It won’t happen, it’s not possible (if you wanna remind yourself why, check out the free lessons on this link http://www.paniccure.com/CoachNeal/Intro-1/1-1.htm). It is just a very unpleasant sensation that will go away.
July 18, 2016 at 10:00 am #109928AnonymousGuestDear stevethepanicer:
It is very difficult- as it has been for me- for anxious people to meditate. When attempting to meditate, it is when the anxiety feels acute, and the head exploding (your words). This is one reason why Moving Meditation, such as walking meditation, dancing meditation, Tai Chi (slow motion, focused martial arts movements) is so helpful for anxious people, unlike sitting/ non- moving meditation. All these moving-meditations are the same as Mindfulness which is paying attention to our movements. Normally we move automatically in all tasks we are used to, from washing dishes to walking, driving to tying our shoes. Mindfulness means paying attention to our movements and how our bodies feel as we move, during those automatic tasks!
The more you exercise paying attention to your movements and how your body feels as you move, the calmer, over time, you will be.
I do wish this thread will be your journey into Mindfulness. My therapy was CBT plus Mindfulness. There is no replacement, no substitute in healing to paying attention, that is, being mindful.
In your quest to heal your anxiety in all its manifestations, you will need a kind of a box of tools, with tools available for different times, different circumstances. One tool is intense enough aerobic exercise, safe, such as fast walking and swimming. If you can join a gym/ have access to a pool and a treadmill, or be able to walk outside, one particular place every day, a place you get familiar with and comfortable- that is a great tool. When you feel particularly anxious, here is one tool: go for a fast walk or a swim.
Other exercise such as lifting weight (in moderation) can also be good- a gym maybe, where you can go at a particular time of day (since you work from home) when it is less crowded…?
Another tool is a routine of moving meditation- every time you wash dishes, pay attention to your body, how it moves and how it feels, what you sense with up to your five senses: the touch of the water and soap on your hands, the feel of the dishes, the sound of the water, etc.
Every time you take a shower- same thing.
Best you can establish a routine for yourself: a sameness every day- first thing you do when you wake up, same thing you do daily after lunch, these are examples. Sameness is calming.
Psychotherapy with a competent and caring therapist, one who specializes in anxiety and is very familiar with mindfulness… a support group of people respectful of each other, with group rules to ensure individual safety…
I found Tai Chi fascinating- of course not all Tai Chi are created equal, but the mindful, slow motion movements slow down the brain in a fascinating way!
Please keep this thread alive and post again and again.
anita
July 18, 2016 at 10:33 am #109930SteveParticipantI’d never thought of Moving Meditaion before. Looks like theres a local tai chi class so I might give it a go. Ive also found somebody local who does mindfulness based cognitive therapy so Ive emailed them today. In the meantime, yep diet and exercise are number one priority for me 🙂
I’m starting to do regular mindfulness of breath meditation and randomly stopping what I’m doing and trying to come back to the present. All this is at home though, et to try it ot in the real world. I’m hoping a few weeks of practice will be enough for me to try the supermarket with some new tools in the box to try and pass through the panic symptoms.
July 18, 2016 at 11:33 am #109935AnonymousGuestDear stevethepanicer:
I like your fast action here, the inquiry into the local tai chi class and email the mindfulness based cognitive therapy!
I had a partial panic attack myself yesterday. I decided to give a Uniterian (not Christian, supposedly all inclusive, no faith required) Church a try Sunday morning, a day ago, and after consuming too much caffeine I arrived at the church. The topic was.. demons. Before the service, on the big screen above, there they were: computer images of demons. The point of the speech was that there are no real demons, but the images, some were scary. So there I am sitting, very well caffeinated, watching the images of scary demons on the screen. Then starts the speech and I felt it, thought about running out, thought I might collapse right there, but gave some breathing a try and was okay, but my day overall was odd.
If any pastor or minister is reading this- no demons please, not on the screen, or otherwise, if possible.
But I digress. Point is, there is always a need to choose external circumstances, places and people in our lives so to promote safety and comfort as well as working on the area between the ears. I call it the Macro and the Micro approach.
anita
July 19, 2016 at 1:20 am #110023XenopusTexParticipantWhy do I envision the final vignette of Fantasia? Cue Night on Bald Mountain.
Caffeine + stress + anxiety = bad. This from a >12 cup per day drinker at times.
September 10, 2016 at 5:47 pm #114859♡♡♡♡♡ Hello beautiful person you are not alone, i have anxiety too but i am always inspired that me and many others will not stop enjoying and living out lives and you wil be okay and you will get through this too. You are learning and growing everyday and you wanna get better and fully live and im sk prouf of you! Here are some tips to help♡ 1. Thinking positive. Like I WILL OR ICAN. Focusing on baby steps and then congratulate yourself like walk around the corner and back, or answering the door for a pizza, make a list of goals you eanna accomplish. Then youll take bigger steps and its all worth it. Every step of the way you learn grow and get better, yhis is not a setback but a learning and growing opportunity,, if you dont do what u wanna do its ok keep trying or dont put pressure its ok to not always do what u want something else is in store, dont pressure yourself. Baby steps like go out with family or friend or to mailboc outside and remmeber you wont die, youll be okay you will keep living beautiful 2. Exercise clears your mind makes you less anxious and dwell less and have more focus, when you feel anxious get up or pray immediately dont lie in it and calmly tell yourself what you feel being honest with yourself and aknowledging it is good and tel yourself what you want you gotta want it really bad too sometimes to take further steps this is your beautiful life u deserbe to live it 10000 free♡ 3, do your own meditiation and calming techniques, so whatever worksnfor you, you can find a comfy place music you love smells you enjoy a comfy blanket or something to comfort you ir a diary to erite in breathe in and out sloely is what matters to clear the tension around the heart or mjnd let your thoughts come dont fight themmit will tire you. Just let them and then before you know it your mind will be calm its all about accepting the thoughts dont define yoy everyone is human,,you arent alone youll be ok and to let it go, and you will survive i promise beautiful person, anxiety soesnt define you, it helped you grow and be more cokpasionate to others who deal with smiliar things this is whatni believe too and that we can use struggle to help inspire others. Best of luck to u in life lovemyou so much YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL WONDERFUL YAY KEEPSGOING YOU CREATE HAPPINESS WHENEVER YOU WANT, Love Leni ♡Livelovelifeleni Positivity&Motivation ♡
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