I … suppose it could be looked at like that. It’s feels awkward to say that though, like I’m pointing my finger at my parents and trying to blame the, for everything. But I suppose there may be some truth in there. I remember asking myself once, “what is the difference between doing something Properly and doing it Perfectly?” and being unable to find an answer (and feeling, of course, that if you’re something you care about you do it properly).

But I don’t know how that helps. I still feel like I’m fighting my subconscious and have no idea how to proceed. I still feel terrified of other people’s opinion of me while at the same time occasionally feel very lonely.