Dear Ravi:

This version is way better than the previous, huge improvement. In the previous you presented yourself as a very angry person, full of anger, argumentative, attacking her (and her sister) and defending, apologizing, deprecating yourself at the same time. Neither of those stands was good input.

Back to this much improved version, I would delete this: ” You are sweet to deny it, Jerry, but you know that’s the truth. I don’t know whether you’ll reply or read this message, or delete it after a glance.” Because: you are sweet to deny it etc. is as if you are talking to her in your own brain, you say something, she says something, you answer her, all in your brain, not in real life. This message should be you talking to her, not the image of her having a conversation with you. The part of “I don’t know whether you’ll reply etc.”- see no point in writing this. If she deleted it, well, she won’t be reading this.

The part about missing her is the best part. Finally there is your motivation. In the first version, one may wonder (I did, after my last post to you), why would anyone respond to such a message because the motivation was clearly anger at her, accusing her of this and that, so … one would wonder why you would want to reconnect with someone you are so angry at.

And watch for that anger. Like I wrote to you before, there is a valid message you should listen to in every emotion. You might be angry at someone else, mostly, but feel uncomfortable directing the anger at the other person, but more comfortable directing it at Jerry.

If you want, have the time and are so inclined, you can review our correspondence on this thread since February and take notes on things to think about, to examine, so to get to the source of your anger: the parenting you received, the experiences at school, etc. Listen to your anger, hear the valid message, so that in case Jerry answers, that you will not drive the rekindled communication to the ground with your anger.

Not that her and her sister’s evaluation of you was correct, far from it. But your anger is way too intense to fit a 20 and a 15 year old girls’ foolishness. It is deeper and predates Jerry.

Write me first before you send the above better version to her. I think you should take a break to study our thread first, calmly, as I suggested. And do so before sending her a message. Study it and take notes of anything at all that seems meaningful and curious to you.

anita