Hi gg4tp,

Having just broken up with someone in a similar situation, these are some questions I would consider next time around:

A) Has the person always been like this or is this a new thing? If it is the later, it usually means that something has changed. It could be work but that leads to the second question.

B) Did the apology come with a change of behaviour? If not, what it means is that the person recognises that he did wrong by you and aware that this makes you feel bad but for some reason he keeps doing it. Having been on the receiving end of this, I find this process to be a quick way to empty all the trust that’s been built and replace it with a stack of bad feelings. I also felt less of myself for always having to be the one to make an effort.

C) How do you feel about the situation? To do this properly, try to block out all the excuses in your head and dig deep into your heart. If you feel a well of frustration and resentment, it’s probably time to yourself the final question.

D) Do I still trust him? As mentioned previously, the process of making promises that are not kept is a sure way to drive the relationship off the cliff especially when there is a deficiency in communication. You can negotiate with your boyfriend to decrease the frequcey of contact to give him more time but if he continues with the pattern, it’s a pretty good indicator of where he is at with the whole thing.