last night i had a great dream in which i was soaring above the clouds with the buddha holding my hand. i saw the buddha smiling and all around me was light. i began to ascend a spiral staircase and all around me were angels and i felt completely alive with purpose. i heard a voice saying “you are becoming one with the universe , you are healed and whole.” as i reached the top of the staircase, i felt the heaviness of my physical body leave and the world fade away as i felt myself explode like a supernova star shining the most divine and loving light into the universe. i began floating as a cloud and all around me the angels were singing and the buddha had such a radiant smile and everything was so beautiful and i realized that i was part of the great universe and whatever path i take would always lead to home. i also knew that whatever i was, whoever i was would always be divine and enough and i realized i could embrace the divine perfection in me that had always been there.
this morning, my inner bully was telling me that i couldn’t do this or that b/c i wasn’t good enough such as this example: “you can’t be an scientist, since you have your head in the clouds with poetry.”

i managed to do a meditation which made me transcend the inner bully whom i chose to ignore and say “so what if i wrote poetry and i am a scientist? i can do both.” anyway, i was out in the garden watering my flowers and the mosquitoes were like my inner bully and i was fighting them. anyway, i was quite entranced by the beauty of the flowers and i forgot the mosquitoes and started not to fight them and to my surprise the itchiness faded away and also the mosquitoes didn’t bother me as much. there were still some bites that itched and some mosquitoes, but not as much and i also felt my inner bully go away. i learned that fighting something only makes it worse instead you should accept it and let it go and it works:) i have written in some edits to the former ap biology assignment and have also written a three poems about the struggles of being a youth and going for your full potential. i also love how science fits into every aspect of life since i was reading about the cell’s membranes being nonpolar and only nonpolar molecules could enter excluding water and carbon dioxide which are polar and oxygen which is a diatomic molecule (exists as two atoms bonded in nature). water enters and exits the cell membrane through osmosis. anyway i was thinking of the cell membrane as the positive vibration of my aura that protected me from negative energies getting in. anyway, i also have three other poems inspired by the songs “Home” by Daughtry, “When I’m gone” by Three Doors Down, “Don’t You Worry Child” by Swedish House Mafia. they are on page 32 on this forum and in July 23, 2016 at 2:43 pm if you need to refer back. anyway, i also took inspiration from three other songs called “What I’ve Done” by Linkin Park, “The Pretender” by Foo Fighters and “I won’t worry my life away” by Jason Mraz. In “What I’ve done”, the singer talks about letting go of his pain and starting again on a new slate even if it means starting in uncertainty. the singer will “erase himself and let go of what i’ve done. put to rest what you thought of me.” the singer is saying he will forgive himself for his faults and wash away the pain, to “face himself and cross out what i’ve become.” the pretender talks about people being kept in the dark, in ignorance and how the singer will live his life on his own terms and not be part of the world’s plays. the singer says “what if i’m not like the others? i’m what’s left, i’m what’s right.” the singer seems to be a bit at war with the world in this stanza because the singer believes they all hide behind masks and don’t show their true selves and the singer has a confidence in himself/herself that he/she is right and he/she will help make the world right, this part is a bit vengeful in a way, but i like the idea of the singer having the courage to break the illusions in society, to rise and be himself, to show both his positives and negatives. i won’t worry my life away is about enjoying life and it doesn’t matter if things go wrong because life is meant to be lived. i especially like this stanza “When I fall in love I take my time. There’s no need to hurry when I’m making up my mind.You can turn off the sun but I’m still gonna shine and I’ll tell you why. Because the remedy is the experience.” i think this means about not rushing your life, taking your time to enjoy the decisions and living the experience of being alive even if the light seems to be far away.