Dear marie:

As the ” very black & white factual kinda guy” you wrote that he is, one way you can talk him into getting psychotherapy with a competent therapist is to tell him that Either he does Or you will have to end the relationship. This way you present to him a fact and you present it in a black and white way. And of course, you will have to follow, keep your word. If he doesn’t attend therapy and you stay with him, and you give him the same ultimatum again, that will no longer be a fact.

Also, you can help him along in looking up a therapist for him yourself, make the appointment and attend the free consultation or first one or few sessions with your boyfriend. His angry outbursts is a couple issue and so starting therapy as Couple Therapy makes sense. The therapist can help him practice an argument right in the office without being abusive, teach him that skill. Also teach you how to communicate with him in the best way, not taking any abuse.

anita