Hi Anita,

I really appreciate your response.

With respect to the emptiness, it’s like I can be having a really good day and be productive and then this feeling comes up where I feel totally unmotivated, wondering if it’s all worth it. It’s probably because for the first time I’m really working on creating something for myself and it’s my responsibility so it scares me.

With my inner conflict, there’s part of me that’s scared of giving it my all so I stay in my comfort zone and the other part of me is not contented with that all. I know I’m capable of so much more and it kills me that I let fear take control sometimes. The boundaries are basically me putting myself in a box and telling myself this is who I am and I feel that limits my capabilities.

Honestly, the last time I had that authenticity was when I was a kid and that probably sounds strange, but I remember being so passionate about life. I had this enthusiasm to try new things, to lead, to interact effortlessly with my family, friends and teachers. In high school, I lost that completely. I became so consumed with family issues. I was just going with the flow and it drained me mentally and emotionally. When I started university it felt even worse because I was surrounded by an even larger group of people and I felt completely lost in that I didn’t really know who I was.