Dear spats1996:

You wrote that you were “always afraid to disappoint my parents, especially my dad. So, I tried to please him in every aspect of my life”- it is a scary way to exist, for a child, to be afraid to lose your father’s approval at any moment. It is a huge pressure to have to win his approval every day.

If only you were approved of unconditionally by your father/ your parents, you could have relaxed, as a child, feeling safe, not afraid to lose their approval at any moment. Losing your parents’ approval, especially your father’s, was a constant threat you lived under as a child. This anxiety could have been what brought about your stuttering.

You wrote: “Maybe always trying to please people made me lie to her”- we do resort to desperate measures when we feel threatened. I suppose you still live under the pressure of fearing losing approval, including this young woman’s approval.

Did I understand you correctly in this post? Please let me know.

anita