Dear Butterfly:

You are a very emotional woman. I think the Emotional Rollercoaster (the title of your thread) is your own, your own mental roller coaster.

I think psychotherapy with a competent, empathetic therapist will help you a lot to slow down, to slow down the roller coaster of emotions, to quite down. I think you need peace, peace of mind.

You wrote that you are upset that he did not or is not fighting for you. Butterfly, he is fighting for his health every day. The fact that he is not complaining to you about it is admirable.

You’ve been needing him a lot, needing him to fight for you, to love you intensely and always. I think your expectations of him are unreasonable, unreasonable for anyone. It is like you want him to make it up to you for lack of love in your childhood, to make it up to you for all the years of needing love. Such is impossible for any human to satisfy.

If I was you, I would attend psychotherapy (as I have attended myself). I would have recommended that you do meet with him and talk except that again… I believe you are too emotional and can’t handle a calm, productive conversation. The therapy I suggest is so that you get off that roller coaster of your emotions, so that you can become reasonable.

Reasonable would be to realize he is only a man and then a man with sickle cell anemia, a permanent condition. Have some empathy for him.

And take care of yourself, in therapy. Would like you to get off the roller coaster and have that precious peace of mind.

anita