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Reply To: Do I need to learn to be more grateful for my relationship

HomeForumsRelationshipsDo I need to learn to be more grateful for my relationshipReply To: Do I need to learn to be more grateful for my relationship

#115575

Karen,

You’ve been together for a year and you haven’t met any of his friends or family? That’s curious. Has he met yours? Now, there’s no “correct” timetable for relationships, nor is a requisite that you each meet all the players in one another’s lives, but if there’s a discussion of marriage there should be plans to meet all these people at some point…especially if he has children.

Anita’s right, whatever you feel, insecurity or loneliness is OK – but go that extra mile and ask why you feel that way, and more importantly why you aren’t talking about it with your partner. Are you scared? If so, why? Say (for example…I don’t want to put thoughts into your head, but I need something for the sake of argument) you’re frightened that his workload won’t change and he won’t be around as often as you like. Aren’t these issues/fears best addressed early? You can tell a lot about the health of a relationship if you feel comfortable bringing up concerns with the other person. You should never feel embarrassed or worried about discussing your hopes and fears with your partner…provided you do it in a respectful manner.

As to the issue of you being grateful, well, while gratitude is important, I think the real question you should be asking is, “is this relationship what I want and in alignment with my greatest good?” Again, there’s no right or wrong answer, as we all have different needs. While nobody gets everything that they want, be careful that compromise doesn’t turn into sacrificing who you are.

So be thankful to have someone you care about, but don’t settle. Express your concerns to your partner, work on yourself (which is what we all should be doing, regardless of our relationship status)…don’t be afraid to enlist the assistance of a trained professional like a therapist. If you don’t have a support system while you’re partner is away, it’s key to find someone to talk to in the meantime.

Best of luck!