@brokenman thanks again for replying. I wouldn’t want this situation on anyone but its good to know you aren’t alone.
He can be a lovely person, he really can, but its very short lived, and its his anger that is the issue and the moods. I know he struggles with self esteem issues and he has issues form his childhood. I have tried to get him to deal with these in the past, but it isn’t happening. I feel responsible for his happiness, and everytime I think of him alone it makes me really sad. You’ve been in your relationship for many years, me too and since I was 17. A child really. I lived with him longer than I spent with my parents. Bizarre when you think of it like that, Anyway, I think he realises after this morning, I am serious and I am finding it hard. I hope we can talk at the weekend. I wonder how I would feel if he says to me “you go, I let you”. Ideally that is what I want, but I almost want him to fight and shout so it makes my decision easier.
I haven’t had therapy in the past, but I am starting to think I need it now. Sending love and strength to you.