Anita, while I still stand by my statement that I was not late because I arrived at the time indicated by the conversation, I would note that the decision to move to somebody else is a decision based on whether a person things someone is good enough for them or not. People change jobs because they think something else might be better. People have affairs because the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. People move because they think living in the neighboring state/country/etc. would be better. Making a choice is a de facto statement that A is better than B.

If we were to agree to meet somewhere, and one of us didn’t show up “on time,” there would be many ways to analyze that. One would be being PO’ed about it. Another would be concern about reason for the untimeliness. Another would be looking at it as excrement happens and waiting a while to see what happens. Yet another would be to wonder if there was some confusion as to the date/time. Questions such as previous incidents, etc. would also be something to look at. She would have known that my general practice is to be early to things from when I worked with her in court, I don’t like waiting and hate to impose the same on others. Is it not a choice as to how one interprets something like that?

Tonight was supposed to meet with an acquaintance at about 5:15 PM and do a few things. The jury trial of mine that was supposed to go next week got reset due to not having enough time due to another case (not mine) spilling over into next week. The next trial folded up like a wet paper napkin. That left me with the third case, which had been mine. Due to these changes I was trying to meet with opposing counsel on the third case to sort out some issues, and was supposed to meet with him after 5:00 due to the massively overtime trial he had been in. He blew me off at about 5:30, could see me waiting while he was talking to his staff about the trial he was in, then decided that he was going to leave for the day (his stated MO is to delay and demand things in an attempt to bury the opposition). Finally met up with my acquaintance at about 6:00. Got an emergency call to deal with a decent sized problem at about 6:15. While there was somebody else still in the office when I got there who could have handled it in theory, nobody wants to call the person to solve problems (complains about the rare after-hours calls and takes forever to get problem addressed).

So, would something like that cause you to punt a potential relationship because a planned event didn’t occur?

Do I appear weak because of the lack of schedule control? Was I wrong to make myself available from the beginning of my career and to make an effort to have answers, compared to the people who supposedly don’t have answers and therefore aren’t bothered?

I wish I could express the internal stress of trying to figure out how to have a relationship. In many respects it is my most important desire. At this point, I really feel sort of like being on the outside looking in. Amusingly, a couple of years ago, my boss thought that I was probably one of the more eligible bachelors in town, combination of age, position, resources, etc.. Funny how that didn’t turn out. All I know is that I just keep getting older, and getting nowhere.