Great insight, Geovane! I see you have spent some time thinking about this.
Honestly, I think your theory is true to a point.

First, I agree with you, a real mature man must value himself and realize that life is not a competition. We are simply here to love. Unfortunately, many many people live out their lives as a competition or race. All that brings is pain, weird behavior, jealousy and lack of real relationships. For example, as you have written, you can find people who are preoccupied with competIng against all the people who a spouse/gf/bad might have been with in the past. Very sad.

I find that in general, the “good” guy is usually one who has refused to accept certain realities. In nature, it usually is the job of the male to attract the female and somehow persuade her to mate – as in humans. Typically, The female part is to have beauty and able to mate+reproduce. That subtle game of persuasion is what all men must have.

I maybe be wrong, but many “good” guys seem to be guys who feel/are attractive inside, they have a light, but they kind of want to keep their light hidden, and wait for the magic girl who will come to them, recognize their goodness, pry the door open and embrace their value. Unfortunately, most women will never do that. So that attitude may not work well for romantic relationships with women.

When I was much younger, I used to judge women partly by the kind of men they were attracted to. That is, if I saw a woman was attracted to/pursuing/in relationship with a guy I knew to be dishonest or bad, I would kind of write her off. Tbh, this was not due to any humiliation as you wrote above but I simply felt that she had shown poor judgement. At first it seemed I would have to write everyone off, even family members! After a while, I saw that there were actually many women who showed good judgement and could see a bad guy and avoid him. These women are able to analyze a man’s character on one hand and her feelings due to his persuasion game on the other, in order to make a decision.
In my experience, the unfortunate thing is that the overwhelming majority of women tend to make this important analysis only from their late twenties/thirties onwards. In the teens to early twenties, it seems the majority of women only see their feelings produced by the persuasion game of a man and are quite blind to character when making relationship decisions.

It just so happens that more so called “bad” guys than “good guys are committed to that game of persuasion and that is actually what drew the women in. The women are actually not attracted to their bad side (except of course a small minority). This is why I was wrong to write all those women off.
For some crazy reason, “good” guys are either oblivious to the persuasion game, or they know of it but don’t want to engage.

Funny enough, in the reverse case, where men must hold a woman’s character on one hand and her beauty/attractiveness on the other to make relationship decisions, I believe that the majority of men are unable to see past beauty and this continues all though their lives! – if beauty is present, a lot of men will pick beauty and seem blind to bad character, over and over and over. So men cannot hold any moral ground over women in terms of judgement in this lol
All women have already embraced the fact that beauty has that ridiculously strong effect on men – thus the billions spent every year on makeup, plastic surgery etc.

If the persuasion game is that strong, the solution for relationships is simply that the good guys just need to embrace it very early. It works out better for everyone that way. Don’t just hold your light near the ground. Shine your light. Make ittwinkle.
I don’t claim to be an expert in the persuasion at all but maybe a simple hint is: love is playful.