Dear Uc

I understand your concern for safety and avoiding conflict as far as possible. Sometimes we need to be loud and assertive.

Your child may be soft for his age. However telling them not to speak up isn’t right. They will grow timid, get walked all over by others then. Ideally your child should have been instructed to come to you in this case, you should have gone to the stranger and given him a talking to loudly that if has a problem, he better tell you and not shout at your child. It is not his job to discipline your kids.

Look at them straight in the eye, be calm but slightly pissed looking and make your point – mg mom normally does this and scares the shit out of people.

Children learn from their parents behaviour. If you aren’t assertive during correct time, your kid will not differentiate between when to draw a fight and when not to.

And who gives a shit if he said something about you to those damn families? They can go to hell, your kids well being is most important. Come on, who cares what some random kid says – go to the park again after a while, don’t teach your kid this whole run away from situations thing – take someone else along, go in a proper group next time. Don’t allow yourself to get bullied like this.

In public places, always be loud but don’t start screaming.

I hope the experienced moms here will have better points to add. Please don’t be scared, I am sure everything is fine.

Regards,
Nina

Dear uc123:

I understand from your post that you didn’t hear the stranger in the park (or detect it visually) screaming or talking angrily to your child, correct? If so:

1. As a mother I feel I did the right thing by asking for an explanation. Is there a better way I could have handled this situation?- no, I don’t see a better way. You wanted to know what the stranger said to your child, you asked your child and he didn’t answer. Your only other way was to ask the stranger.

2. The stranger was a white guy. The second family seated was a black family. I have a feeling that he twisted my words and said something in a way to provoke that family purposely. Is it possible that he was being racist with my kid and me? I try as much as possible to let myself not get affected by racism, but it happens one way or the other.- I wouldn’t know and there is no way for you to know either, at this point.

3. Is it normal for kids to yell that they want to kill a person? On some level it is silly, but it did affect me a little. How do I handle this?- that sounds way over the top and very strange. It would disturb me too to hear such words. If you see those children again, ask them why they said it; talk to their parents about what they said. Be sure to notice, next time you are in the park, if those threatening children are there and be alert.

4. I cannot avoid going to this park with my kid. I also don’t want to shut myself down because of this incident. What kind of mindset should I have to be around people like above mentioned?- be alert and pay attention. You heard threats and that requires your alertness.

anita