Dear amag:

In your original post you wrote: “I don’t know where this (jealousy) comes from. Is that important?”

Yes, it is important. Let’s look at where it may come from.

In your last note to me you wrote the following:

1. “I was never lost or forgotten!”
2. “my parents were late to pick me up as they often were”

# 1 and #2 are not congruent: when you were a child waiting for your parents, as you were waiting, every moment waiting was a long, long moment. Even for adults in distress, time seems longer. For a child, it is the
longest. Each day you waited for your parents to be picked up, you experienced being “lost or forgotten.” Every single day, and those days happened often.

Your “recurring worry/feeling” of being lost and forgotten was based on the reality of you having been, practically, often, lost and forgotten for long, long periods of time (long, according to a child’s brain, if not according to a clock)

# 3. “I never felt ignored or unseen as a kid.” You were ignored and unseen by your parents as you often waited for them. You were very distressed, waiting, and it happened again.

Do you see any of this that I (from the advantageous position of objectivity) can see?

anita