Dear Magnolialuloo,

Not trying to make you feel bad or guilty in some way but asking you to explain the situation a bit better.

What exactly was wrong with him messaging a girl happy new year at midnight? Was the content of photos and videos shared personal?

Do you reckon it’s possible that after she told him she likes him, he may have spoken to her in person and made it clear he doesn’t want a relationship with her? If indeed he wanted a relation with her, wouldn’t the content of his messages swing to inappropriate?

It is possible that we may be friends with someone who likes us and choose not to act on the interest because we want to stay faithful to our partner. Which is what i suspect he did at that point – felt conflicted about being attracted to another person and then resolved not to act on it because he is with you.

Yes he may have liked her but perhaps he spoke more in anger to you about this. That you didn’t trust him enough to not see his personal messages. This is a sore point for many people – how would you feel if your significant other doesnt trust you?

Where he went wrong is not telling you that this girl has expressed interest. That was lack of transparency on his part but I don’t think it’s being a cheater. He hasn’t communicated properly and seems to have acted coldly based on some kind of past issues/triggers. Perhaps indeed something else was going on which he didn’t tell you properly. I don’t mean the office girl, I mean the past also.

Now he appears to be dating her. Clearly as he have split up, he has acted on his interest. Or this girl cleverly nabbed him at his weakest.
Whatever the case, things haven’t gone the right way.

In this situation, I feel both of us have made your set of mistakes in handling the situation. Communication and trust seemed to be lacking. I apologise if I have come across as insensitive in any way.

Regards
Nina