One thing I have got on my mind that might help you hopefully. If you really want to know the truth go within ask your spirit try to stay connected and raise your vibration by doing anything that makes you happy and try to stay in that place.

I feel I am isolated too but it’s my choice as an individual I really like my own time and space. Being a loner is a nice opportunity to discover your inner true self.

I’ve started a similar journey to yours but to me focusing on past things or events that I can not change its a waste of time and joy of present moment.

Religions it’s a wide topic with too many information which make you question God. Keep in mind that God is Love and everything what doesn’t seem right is either evil or karma or important lesson to learn as a spiritual being in order to evolve.

If you are a digger for truth I am sure you will find it.

Love and light for you and all