Dear North Star76:

My quest is still (with your cooperation, of course) to find out why, at 41, an obviously intelligent woman who has her own career, owns her own home, supports herself; a woman who always wanted a partnership, did not have a single relationship that lasted more than a year. And why you were dumped every time but one.

You wrote that the reason is not that you are “overly difficult, “clingy, or bossy or a nag,” and that you are “a good person “kind, thoughtful, not covered in boils.”

The one relationship where you dumped the guy: nine months, not a single argument, then an argument about the skirt you wore one time. And you wrote he didn’t admit her was ever wrong. yet no disagreement for nine months.

The last relationship, at 40, lasted five months and only a week and a half ago, unexpectedly, he ended your relationship. He said you didn’t have enough in common.

Maybe the clue as to why this failure of relationships is in your first line: “I’m not sure what to write, I have so many feelings and thoughts running through my head that they all tumble over one another”- is it possible that you simply didn’t share your thoughts and feelings with these men, that you were almost non-existent in the relationships and nothing much was going on there… and so there were no disagreements on one hand (for nine months in one relationship), and nothing in common on the other hand (following five months in the last relationship)?

anita