Hi my name is Jack,
I am 16 years old and I’m a year 12 student which is equivalent to the 11th Grade in the US. During my time in secondary school (year 11 downwards) I had no idea what I wanted to be and all I cared about was playing games, as a result of these games and simply not knowing what I wanted I struggled to achieve more than pass grades in my final examinations (GCSE’s). The grades I obtained in my GCSE’s where average which allowed me to progress to Sixth Form, however my options in Sixth Form where limited because I only achieved C grades in both English and Mathematics: When I first enrolled into Sixth Form I still didn’t know what I wanted so I was faced with a sheet of subjects that I can do as it stood my options where CTEC courses or A-Level courses Which say that they require a B in both English and Maths (which I didn’t have) but really anyone can enter the course as you will be accepted if you dont meet the grade criteria but you may find it harder if that makes sense. So as I didn’t really have an idea of what I wanted to do at the time, I chose 2 CTEC courses (ICT and Business Studies) because I didn’t think I was good enough for A-Levels.

If I could rewind a few months back to the start of Sixth Form I would have chose to do a Computing A-Level and something else that mildly interests me. I say I would have chose a Computing A-Level because I realised after thinking of many career options that Software Engineering (Coding) would be almost the ‘ideal’ job for me as its possible to work from home, there is a skills gap in the UK regarding Software Engineering which therefore means high potential earnings especially in the city of London (where I live) and your essentially building something from nothing, slowly contributing bits of code one after the other to make something useful and complex which I enjoy. There are a few ways you can start a career in Software Engineering: Get a University Degree or do a apprenticeship, Apprenticeship is essentially getting paid whilst you learn (by the way you dont need to pay a student loan for and apprenticeship but you do for uni) but for me to get into an apprenticeship I need to be able to demonstrate that I have a passion for coding somehow. This is where I am starting to have serious worries about the life ahead. I dont know which option will be better for me getting a secure job within the field (assuming I even get the grades I need in the subjects im doing), Im scared because I dont know how to Code but I need to know otherwise I wont be able to survive in a Software Development University Degree or an apprenticeship if I dont even know the basics, I’ve have nobody to teach me how to do it and never have as In Year 9 (8th Grade US) I failed to pick Computer Science in my GCSE options which would have surely taught me the basics of coding (and as I said I failed to pick computer science when I started year 12 because I didn’t know what I wanted to do at the time and by the way its not an option to change my subject now: “its too late”). If what im currently learning in Sixth Form isn’t teaching me anything about the career I desire and want to be taught about I am left in a very bad situation. I try to teach myself about coding using the internet but teaching yourself is hard and requires a high attention span and determination which I really struggle with and my motivation levels and willpower almost instantly depletes whenever I try to teach myself, this is what scares me to death, I feel that If I dont teach myself in time (by the end of year 13 — the time where you go to uni or an apprenticeship) I will be faced with no options only options that I would hate to progress into and start a career that I hate doing and working that job for close to 50 years before I retire. Everyday I think at least once is it too late for me to go into the career I want and everytime I think about it I believe its more and more true. Despite the fact that Im doing the supposedly easier courses I am still finding it hard to achieve the top grades the grades that I need to get into an apprenticeship or a university to do Software Engineering and am yet to be able to properly revise for them as I simply cant get motivated. There is such a worry for me about even getting the grades in the ‘easier coursers’ im doing let alone being able to learn how to code and go into the career I want. I will be so dissapointed, upset and ashamed with myself if I am stuck in a career that I despise that pays low for 50 years, my parents seem naive to my my true feelings as I dont show it to them. Im only 16 an im faced with such indirect pressure and uncertainty there is so much I dont know about what I need and what is expected of me to progress and achieve the goals I want to achieve not to mention generic teenage problems like low self esteem on the side. It’s so fucked.

I understand if you cant help me because you may not understand the English education system or how I’m not the best at getting my points across. Thank you for reading.