Dear Rekalitsoe/ironwoman32:

I think that the reason you are obsessed with your step sister’s anger and disdain toward you (and toward your sister and husband), to the point of finding it, at times, hard to breathe, is because you believe deep inside you that if someone is angry with you, if someone disapproves of you, or otherwise displeased with you, that this person will harm you, hurt you.

And so, you believe that you are in danger for as long as your step sister is displeased with you. You are driven to please her (and anyone else who is displeased at any time, I imagine) by the drive to protect yourself from danger.

If you see it this way, who then, in your early life expressed their displeasure at you aggressively, in ways that hurt and harmed you?

anita