Anita…you really read my mind and I agree with all of your words (except I still feel that I should have not been silent that time while I am daring to tell now after all these mess in both of our life).

Even I too thought that, though i was silent that time, though i was/not reason for diabetic, not planning second kid in past, though i promised him, though i took his responsibility….at the end of the day I am also a very very ordinary human being, that now I am unable to help continue our relation. Even I strongly believe that two wifes in single house will be definitely a mess because either one wife is has to adjust in all and definitely that will be me where I lost all my strength to bear pain now itself. Even if he marry me, then for sure first wife eventually gets ego problems and finally we all go into mess. And so the kids happy life also get spoil.

That is the reason for past 3 years I tightly hold my heart to go away though he initially miss me lot I wish he has to get over that to live for their family. So instead of simply breaking up in one day I took the responsibility to made him to understand my pain, and that he should take his responsibility of first wife and kids future, but not running around me. Finally now I made him to accept the truth to quit at least to save the remaining future of my friend and kid. I made it, so this way i really feel happy because i didn’t run away from him by simply saying bye in one day, I spent 3 years of my time with lots of patience and pain(to leave him though I don’t want because I know I do not marry anyone else).

But still I afraid of his health and career, and guilt of being silent in the beginning is killing me.