I’m 18, and I have a story to tell or just a miserable story. I can’t get over my ex boyfriend. I’ll tell you how it happened. It was around sophomore year of high school and we were amazing friends. We talk every night and FaceTime and call eachother till we fell asleep. One night he admitted he had feelings for me. I then realized I had feelings for him too, I didn’t realize how attached i was to him. We date for about 8 months. And we break up. He caught feelings for this other girl and they started dating two days after we broke up. About a month in of being broken up we talked and I told him I hope he finds everything he couldn’t find in me, in her. That I hope she loves him more than I ever could and that I just hope he is able to love her even more than he could me. We began to talk more and one day he just tells me to call him. I do. We end up talking all day and all night and we were just staring at eachother through our phone screens. It’s about 2 am. He says “I think I’m falling in love with you again” and starts crying extremely hard and about everything that he felt and is in tears. He breaks up with his girlfriend and we start dating again. We dated for about 4 months. He broke up with me again. He didn’t have a clear answer for either breakups. This break up was so bad. He had been on a month trip before we broke up. He lost his phone at an event we attended together and so we didn’t have contact except for when he would borrow someone’s phone. So before school starts about two weeks he messages me and tells me that the breakup wasn’t my fault. Saying that there was no reason to worry. I was so deeply in love with him I dodnt even know what to say or even do. We see eachother at band camp and this girl started talking to him. We would make plans to see eachtoehr but he would also be seeing her. He said we would get back together but if the other girl was into him he didn’t want to hurt her either. He said we would but we didn’t. Instead we just saying contact with eacother and talked every night like before. He blocked me because his current girlfriend didn’t want us talking anymore. So in out of rage and pain I tried to get over him. It didn’t work. We were about to get back together. He told he was going to break up with his current girlfriend the day he found out I tried to get over him. And he cried to me for hours and we fought just yelling. And we agreed to be friends and work things out and there’s still hope for us left. And we started to get along again and eventually his current girlfriend made him cut comtact with me completely. So we couldn’t talk to eachother let alone look at eachother. He started to act like he hated me. He wouldn’t look at me. When I was in the same room as him he would immediately leave and would act like I didn’t exist it put a deep pain in me every time. I couldn’t even describe how much I hurt. I cried constantly. Months later I tried to talk to new people but I couldn’t get into relationships with them because I had extreme trust issues. I can’t look anything the same again. I used to see the beauty in everything now I just see black. It’s been 6 months and he got promise rings with her. It hurts. I just want to cry every time. I remember when we had to cut connection he said “no matter what happens, if I get mad, if I act like I hate you- no matter what I will always love you” and my heart drops everyone I think about it. We’ve only talked twice ever since and it was for school related activities. I’m missing him more than ever and I feel so broken I just feel like I can’t focus on anything but that.