Home→Forums→Relationships→Should i leave or stay and fight?
- This topic has 6 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 7 years, 6 months ago by Anonymous.
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May 1, 2017 at 3:22 pm #147603jessaimeeParticipant
I’ve been in this relationship for 5years and it hasn’t been all rainbows and butterflies we have had bad times and I mean real bad times we have called each other and its even got violent a couple of times on both parts. But no matter what I always stayed I ended up having a beautiful baby boy and I cant thank him enough for giving me the greatest gift , but couple weeks ago I duno why I did it I went on a chat room and started talking someone from America (I’m from uk) just silly little stuff really but it felt good to talk to someone different but my boyfriend found out and well I eneded up waking up our 2year old son and going to my mothers. Now hes telling me hes sorry and he will changed but it wasn’t his fault and I feel so guilty and like my heart is breaking ano we are bad for each other deep down but I cant help but think ive put 5years into this relationships we have been through so much am I just being selfish walking away I duno what to do please I need some advice
May 1, 2017 at 5:34 pm #147613CraigParticipantHi Jessaimee,
What is your guess as to why you went on a chat room and started talking to someone from America? In other words, what were you seeking?
Craig
May 1, 2017 at 6:13 pm #147617jessaimeeParticipanthonestly I don’t know I guess I was looking for someone to make me feel good about myself again to forget all the problems we were having
May 1, 2017 at 8:11 pm #147641AnonymousGuestDear jessaimee:
Of the two choices: leave OR stay and fight, the answer is definitely Leave. Fighting harms children and your child needs a calm home, no fighting.
If there is a chance for this relationship, maybe the two of you can attend competent couple counseling, learn skills that will make it possible for you to get along without fighting. Once principle I learned in couple counseling is EAR: to treat each other with Empathy, Assertiveness, Respect. Always respect.
anita
May 2, 2017 at 4:52 am #147673InkyParticipantHi jessimee,
We all have sub-worlds, private lives and hobbies to let off steam, so we can (for once!) be our Authentic Selves. When you (understandably, IMO) went on a chat room you were on because you could be yourself. You weren’t the beleaguered mom, you weren’t the poor woman fighting for her man, you weren’t fighting. You were just being you, feeling good, for the first time in perhaps a long time.
It is up to you whether to stay with your BF or not. And the chat room has nothing to do with it.
Good Luck, not matter what you decide!
Inky
May 2, 2017 at 9:59 am #147697jessaimeeParticipantthanks for all the advice everyone been thinking long and hard and ive made my mind up.
Inky your comment actually made me cry reading it cause that’s how I really did feel, but ive made my mind up and no matter how much it hurts its best for my son if I leave rather have him grow up with parents who don’t live with each other and are happy then parents that are together and fight nearly all the time.
jessaimee
May 2, 2017 at 10:36 am #147701AnonymousGuestDear jessaimee:
You are welcome. I strongly believe the choice you have is the right choice, especially for your son. My hat is off to you for making the right choice for him!
anita
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