Dear Suz,

beneath the childhood trauma lies the essence of your being, the true you. That which is always healthy and well. It seems that you have taken a lot of time to research your childhood and it has not led you happy. You might take some more years to continue doing that and maybe it still leads you nowhere.

How about another perspective? You probably know about getting to know your inner child and giving her all the support and love she needs; healing from within. (And if you have no idea about that, you can find a lot of material online, free of charge.) If you choose to go on with therapy, another kind might be useful. Such that focuses on your strengths here and now – what you can do and which steps to take and experience happy moments every day! It is just a thought that someone with a trauma needs 5 or 10 years of therapy to lead a good life! Of course, if you choose to believe that, then it will be reality for you. I would not! 🙂