Dear Ylva:

You wrote that you don’t believe like “talking about it’- with your partner, I suppose. Thing is you are talking about it in your own head and he is talking about it in his own head. Without talking with each other, you don’t know his motivations and reasons; he doesn’t know yours, and the two of you are likely to assume a whole lot, assumptions never to be checked for truth.

When he makes comments about other women being attractive, what is his motivation, if any (is he just commenting like one would in a museum about the beauty of art, let’s say), and does he know it bothers you. If he knew it bothered you, will he do his best to stop?

anita