Inky: Haha. Thanks

Dear Anita,

When I read your reply last night, I was beyond words. Finally, everything is unfolding, and I see the light. This morning I re-read it again. And you are spot on with so many things.

I can understand why my real mother unconsciously treat me this way, and I believe that she doesn’t even know how she was treated was passed onto me. Everything is about her childhood too, how she was treated and how she learned. I don’t blame her at all, and I’m just so grateful and happy that I can break this pattern. That I can live for myself. Breaking free.

“That’s why I buried my heart for so long.” Yes. Even though I’m learning the new behavioural pattern of showing vulnerability and asking for what I want, I can still see my habitual behaviour sometimes, that I just want to numb the sadness inside me and act cool about what had happened. I guess as you mentioned in the last post, I need to keep practising in interactions with people so to be better at listening and following my heart.

About my marriage, you wrote “my need is non-negotiable”. That pierced into my heart in a good way. You are absolutely right. And what you wrote also led me to think that I also need this from my partner. That he also loves physical comfort. That he is also willing to share his vulnerability, and shows his feelings. I think this emotional sharing is vital for me in a relationship to feel connected.

I’m so happy and grateful that this has cleared up a lot. Not 100% yet but at least it has unravelled a lot of the issues that came from my childhood and what impact it made on me. I look forward to the continuation of the magic.

Thank you Anita.