Thanks! You both make some really good points! It’s so weird because I’m not religious (nor do I have a religious family) and there aren’t really any restrictions on us having a family while being married in this country and yet getting married has become my focus. I think even though my family is not religious they hold marriage as highly important. No one in my family has ever divorced (not sure if they’ve wanted to and felt that they couldn’t or anything though!) so I was brought up thinking that marriage was how families worked. Strangely my boyfriend’s family is the same. His parents are still married and seem very happy together. They hold hands in the street still! Perhaps things weren’t always like that with them or maybe he is rebelling against what he grew up with, instead of desiring it like me. I will talk to him more about his past and things though, as there could be more to it that he has never told me. He doesn’t express emotions well (very like my own dad!) and I know there is probably more he is feeling that he hasn’t felt brave enough to tell me. You comments have made me think if I had to choose between a man who is caring and thoughtful but doesn’t want marriage and a man who would get married but not treat me well. I know I would choose the first one. I need to let go of marriage as some sort of ‘achievement’ or ‘happily ever after’ that I see it as, and look at the relationship instead. I love him and I need to remember I have my happily ever after already.