Dear Karene:

Welcome back! Good to read from you again.

I read your detailed account of your relationship with this man, and remember details from previous threads.

You wrote: “I just cannot be his saviour anymore”- unfortunately, you didn’t save him, you haven’t been his savior so far and you can’t be. It is not within your power. He is still as limited and dysfunctional as he has been before. I am sure he experiences moments of comfort, contentment, maybe joy with you, but those are moments in time, while his life continues to be, as you so thoroughly described, limited and dysfunctional.

Before I attempt answering the questions at the end of your post, I ask:

1. So far, there has been an emotional payoff for you, a good-feeling you enjoyed in being in this one year relationship with him. Can you describe that payoff?

2. Are you afraid that if you break up with him, he will become criminally aggressive toward people, because of his interest in murder stories?

anita